Fun Facts About Fish #08 — Rapist Giraffes

February 24th, 2020


I'm tired of animal genitalia for the season.


Do these people just not read their scripts?
Beulga: "I want to do dolphin things."
Dolphins: "No, do beluga things."
Protagonists: "Believe in your friends and do beluga things."
Beluga: "Okay!"
Everybody: "Yay! You have learned your place! Everyone is happy and better for it! Jubilations for all!"

Tune in next week when work sets them free. Maybe it wouldn't feel so jarring if the dog wasn't constantly giving a speech about how they're breaking all the barriers between species, and you can too, if you just give up and accept your proper role. And again, we're still just straight up ignoring all the symbiotic relationships in nature here.

The episode already started off poorly enough by the initial fun fact about belugas being that they're sort of like whales and dolphins, but aren't, and a horny male giraffe trying to rape the lead in the showers was to be the high point. What that had to do with the rest of the episode, one will never know, but they felt the need to have a character introduce herself just to give one line explaining that the twenty foot tall giraffe is a power top. It probably also didn't help the format that the other animal fun facts this week got more esoteric and more bizarre as the episode went on, and we're using gay giraffes as the baseline. Dolphins have split personalities because parts of their brain go to sleep. Belugas have a forehead melon organ thing except we're not giving this one because it's too weird so just imagine if she had one. But it's probably just that the humor continues to be bland, and the dramatic side was "Okay, but what if you try slightly harder?" Rapist giraffes are almost a breath of fresh air. 

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