天下制覇

Now kill Gwen Stacey.

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You’re not even good at being bad.

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I’m not entirely clear on the details here, but I believe the werewolf’s plan was to force Lupin to eat a rosario and then laugh until everybody got tired and went home. That and stand around, acting as backstop for their target practice until JC Staff found the budget for some speedlines, girls licking girls, and the OP-as-insert before Kinji noticed its weak point… its face, and then ricocheted bullets in flight to take advantage of that. Now that’s solid writing and well worth every bit of effort I’ve put into covering this, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

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Has it really been three days and absolutely nothing to watch? Not even on American TV for that matter. Sure, they’ve been rerunning the hell out of Futurama and Ugly Americans, and I can appreciate pigeon-men slapping each other in the face with their oversized penises and gender-swapped crustaceans as much as the next guy, maybe even more, but where’s the soul and spark from Japan? Oh right. It’s here with the gender-swapped six-armed Sumerian lord of all heroes. Well then, carry on.

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I ‘watched’ this while grating about 2.5 pounds of gouda for a fondue party with friends to celebrate one’s graduation. God, I wish that was a euphemism. I feel like I might have missed some of its finer nuances. How can I be sure if it was all lace or if some of it was nylon. Maybe the maid wonderbras were 75% bouncier than usual. You have my heartfelt condolences that I was unable to pay as much attention to this episode’s intricate and convoluted plot as it clearly deserved.

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And in this very special episode of Aria, the writers get drunk and take the week off. This leaves the animators to just do whatever they want, which is to draw T&A. Also, since they’re all employed by JC Staff, they’re all thigh fetishists, so approximately 40% of the episode was spent with Kinji either inside someone’s thighs, staring at someone’s thighs, or having a murderer nuzzle his junk with the back of her head while hiding his pen in her cleavage. Class act, JC Staff. Class act.

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Yes, this was indeed the most interesting little bit of action from the ‘action-packed’ episode about detectives fighting magical French knights. Almost the entire rest of it was speedlines. And this was speedlines too. Along with apparently the slowest moving magical ice that I’ve ever seen. Or her sword grew a few dozen yards in the couple of seconds it was off-screen. I almost miss the magical hair. I do like how Aria dropped her swords to catch a gun that she then refused to use, although I’m not sure that I follow Jeanne’s logic of how Aria wouldn’t kill her, correct as it may have been. It’s not like one tried to slash the other in half a moment before or anything.

This. This was the highlight of the episode. JC Staff skimping on animating someone running. The way they abuse that blur effect in recent years makes me feel like I’m watching some lazy action show from the early 90s. Blurring it does not cover up the fact that you are trying to show someone running with two whole frames. Two! Not enough money in the coffers to spring for three! Which somehow still makes it more entertainingly awful than this week’s [C] was and just as cheap.

Apparently, some days you’re too busy to even remember hit the post button for half-assed comments about girls who move like a flip book and breathe like they have a fan rotor jammed inside their throats. Oopsies. Maybe it’s because the room is some kind of alternate dimension where tiny apartments are massive echo chambers. At least I can be assured that I’m spending about an equivilent amount of care and attention into this as JC Staff. Great work, guys.

This week’s specialties in "How is Aria disappointing us" are Kinji just picking up Aria and running off with her… completely ignoring the gun-toting magical maniac (who politely lets them leave anyway…). Then they get into a screaming match about him taking her top off to save her life. I’d be more angry about her padded bra irradiating the cabin personally. Riko doesn’t seem to be suffering from radiation burns at least. Then they spend almost half the episode landing the oh-so-wonderful CG plane as it slowly drifts through the empty sky. The way this show abuses CG vehicles should be criminal. Aaand the episode ends with Kinji being suddenly assaulted by a proliferation of speedlines. Keep up the great animation work here, JC Staff. I can really tell how much effort you’re putting in.