Villains Drive #04 — Playground Rules

October 29th, 2020

 

Cool, now we're Minority Report too.

Impressions:

So much of this would be so much better if it had a writer and director who actually knew how to be cool, instead of ones who were haplessly trying to ape it. They have a character rant about how they're engaging in the ultimate thrill against a ticking clock, and then they leisurely stand around, taking in the scenery, ruminating on every little thing that they pass, and about ten minutes later, reveal that only two minutes have passed, and there's only one minute left… which then proceeds to take five. And the real kicker here is that this dude doesn't actually do crap. Oh, he says he does. It all happens just off-screen by waving his hands or something. Fantastic. I'm glad he had an entire scene dedicated to his ultimate challenge that we've just skipped right over.

Meanwhile, the actual fight that is the clear focus of the episode despite said rant isn't proceeding that much better. Every time it has a moment where it feels like they're putting a scene together well, a little back and forth, and then someone pulls a trick out of their sleeve that makes them seem slick, it proceeds to absolutely ruin it. One dude distracts the other, then the other goes "Nope, I teleport behind you." Dude just flexes and it unleashes a wind tunnel that blasts everyone back. Dude takes a knife to the gut on purpose to suplex the other, and the other just gets up and goes "Nuh uh, that didn't count." You are ruining your own action scenes by making nothing anybody does count for anything. We're playing by Calvinball rules here, and everything would be so much better if we would just accept basic consequences like "punches do damage" and "characters cannot randomly bend all laws of time and space at random." Suspension of disbelief is already working hard for both the doctor and biker characters who are essentially Adam West Batman in their arsenals of random crap pulled from their asses. Let's keep the random wizardry above and beyond that to a minimum, please. 

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