Full Metal Panic! IV #04 — Girl Power!

May 4th, 2018


A show's never in a good place when characters are practically trying to crawl into the fridge.


Then again, our 'hardened' soldier had yet another one of his traditional panic attacks just from a little shrapnel hitting Whose Her Face. Her entire existence across four episodes was to be taken captive, been immediately and honestly close to effortlessly freed, and then get a sucking gut wound and whimper. Chidori, meanwhile, has had a panic attack and been taken hostage… complete with offering of sexual favors, in case you thought they weren't milking it or degrading her enough. Tessa has thrown a tantrum about not being taken seriously enough and then when push came to shove, was only able to whimper and cling to her pet twink. Frankly, being stuffed in the fridge would almost be a step up for most of this show's female cast. They're already halfway into the crisper. Also, have we mentioned the giant phallic submarine erupting from the depths to penetrate a giant robot? No? Okay.

Mostly, it was pretty much the same as last week; ostensibly an action packed episode, but it took five minutes on the phone to get to the 'fighting', the fighting itself never amounted to more than second rate CGI cludging around for maybe four or five minutes, randomly shrugging off bullets or being obliterated by them according to the whims of space goat, and everything else was a mix of white noise and simply blank space. Seriously, there are some super weird pauses where characters simply blankly stare at either nothing or each other. I suppose there's also the Whispered crap being especially deus ex melodrama too. Because nothing is quite so satisfying as a character motivation being spontaneous development of clairvoyance, especially when it's to re-re-reset her new re-re-refound faith in Sousuke. I think the worst part may have to go to the rando classmates at the end who were apparently auditioning for the school play. Sousuke tells them he's actually a soldier, and they lose their minds, falling to their knees and wailing in anguish at the horrible crime that has been inflicted upon not them, but Chidori. I can only imagine he interrupted an audition for The Crucible and they're all too method to break character.

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