Absolute Duo #11 — “Let’s All Stand Around and Shout”

March 15th, 2015


Great! But can we make an entire episode of that?


Way to follow Dragonball’s godawful lead, you hideous abomination pretending to be an action episode. Maybe if there was some actual fighting somewhere in it, it wouldn’t have come off as goddamned patronizing and imbecilic, but good god. They piss around with Miyabi making ‘crazy’ faces (aka her mouth drifts up to where her nose is because we heard the underneath-looking-up angle adds unease, but perspective is really really hard), she attacks like… three or four times, half of which were stills, and then everyone just walks away. What follows is yet more PMSing until Lesser Tits goes “You’re already strong enough” and slaps her. The end of her godawful arc.

That leaves about six minutes (because they skipped the ED) for Mallcop to do his one attack… throwing a couple grenades and then summoning his mallcop buddy. That’s it. That’s all the ‘boss’ of this arc did. The first of which causes Thor to scream in anguish and go all flashbacky before juicing himself with the steroids he got last week and immediately one-shotting Paul Blart and friends thanks to his new bullet erasing powers. Oh wait, I guess Mallcop shot one more grenade there too. And then killed Colonel Sanders and stole his magic watch. Because of course he did. 

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