Fleet Collection #01 — Animators Are Lazy, Please Wait Warmly

January 7th, 2015


Consistency is for losers.

Apparently the full English title, according to the show, is Fleet Girls Collection KanColle Animation Sequence. Sadly, I’ve seen worse. This season.


What is it recently with “squad of girls fight generic CGI monsters and/or shapes, and by fight, we mean shoot missiles or beams from off screen”? Was Valvrave really such a trailblazer that everyone else has to copy it? YesIknowitwasn’tthefirstbutit’stheearliestrecentonethatcomestomindshutup. Well, it’s not like Monday through Wednesday are strong, which is good because they’re taking it a smidge further by making the girls occasionally morph into that janky cell shaded CGI too. I mean, why not spontaneously change animation styles the moment it becomes marginally difficult to animate something and/or exciting? The animators would rather draw another five billion frames of girls eating ice cream, hanging out after school, blushing at each other, and standing in front of one of Japan’s countless bloom-emitting windows.

And therein lies the irksome issue that’s far more damning than some crappy-looking CGI water skiing. Once again, “people doing stuff” seems to be the afterthought while “faffing around” is the main content. The whole first half is basically faffing. Oh, here’s the idol girl. Here’s the archer girl. Here’s the girl with a catchphrase. Why? Because girls. Every show doesn’t need to be a nonstop fireworks display of explosions, people being eaten, and bullets flying, but, and as I feel like I’ve said dozens of times before, there still needs to be some kind of structure and purpose. Why are we meandering around the school? Why should I care about any of this? What is the purpose that this is fulfilling? Oh right. Girls exist. Quod erat demonstrandum.

Even after they were launched, some 15 minutes in, there was still plenty of faffing to be done. Oh, that clumsy girl that we’ve just sent into a supposedly deadly battle. She can’t even stay on her feet. Isn’t she precocious? Tee hee hee. It’s not even like the action was particularly good, even accounting for the CGI. Japan also really needs to understand that a character standing impassively in the middle of explosions (or beams, or being punched, or being shot, etc etc). That’s for some stooge at best before the protagonist turns on a super magnet and they’re stuck to it by their teeth. The evil unstoppable overlord who’s invulnerable to everything (except friendship power, obviously) but simply can’t be bothered to get off their ass and attack is not the thrilling menace to the protagonists you seem to believe, Japan. Especially when the protagonists are also taking missiles to the face and it results in nothing but scuffed clothes and a temper tantrum.

Monday through Wednesday are looking tedious already, and I say that after turning on the first few minutes of Testament and already being tired of it. Game quasi-reviews weren’t very popular last time, and extra time consuming. Perhaps I will ruminate.

Posted in Anime | 8 Comments »

8 Shouts From the Peanut Gallery

  • Sanjuro says:

    God damn it Japan. Stop with the CG already. My eyes glaze over and my brain kind of stops whenever I see CG so I never register what’s actually happening. I think there was a cloud and a teddy bear in this episode. Other than that all I can say is that it seems to be Strike Witches with less panty shots.

    Also in unrelated LWR news, Aria is the bestest after Mariella. You must have though so too, right?

  • ZakuAbumi says:

    “The evil unstoppable overlord who’s invulnerable to everything (except friendship power, obviously) but simply can’t be bothered to get off their ass and attack”
    You just wait until there’s that shocking twist that gasp, these ones are real ship people with real ship feelings too and have never attacked anyone and aren’t evil at all but are just acting in self-defense. Maybe things will get super-angsty then. Which would be an improvement over this voidness.

  • Germanguy says:

    Well, you know. I saw a Anime where powerful decased Warriors of menkind Souls reincerated into Girl’s Body and keep fighting with many Panty Shots.

    But, Soul’s of Warschips? and even out of WW2? Thats ridicules…

    Strike Witches was Humans and Flying big Boots alike things
    Girls und Panzer where driving old WW2 Tanks
    Aoki Hagane no Arperigo “Alien AI’s” that took Human shape form

    But Human made battleship Soul in cute Girls bodys?

    Brain reason section Offline. Enjoy the Show

  • Yue says:

    It’s like Strike Witches but with battleships. Yay!

  • JCA says:

    I kind of liked your game reviews.
    But I’m weird.

  • algorithm says:

    Well that never went beyond “girls are ships, ships are girls” and 20 minutes later “see you next week”. Needless to say it was a total bore. The sad part being that the demon lord imouto stuff was less dull than that.