Terror in Tokyo #02 — Now Featuring the Riddler’s Paint-Eating Brother

July 17th, 2014


This is like what you’d get if 24’s writers were all got high and the show’s named was changed to 168.


Are you serious? Is there a single person who after the first episode said “You know what’d be awesome? If we stepped away from the protagonists for an episode to have a goddamned lecture on what bombs are and how bombs work”? This is exactly the kind of thing you just gloss over. Nobody cares. Even “the bombs were thermite” is pushing it unless there is some very good reason why that is an important or relative fact. It is not important to anything that they used N thermite bombs and N TNT bombs, nor does giving the chemical reaction of ignition contribute a damn thing except to show that you know how to use the internet. Thankfully, that only ate up about six minutes, although the rest just got stupider and called into question their understanding of many things, including using the internet.

I’m sure probably some of it is a cultural gap, but good god. “I’ve got some noodles,” “Cool. Go ahead and wander around the police station with your big metal box, nobody cares.” That was just the start of it getting stupid. Then came the mysteries of the standard riddle of the sphinx… on YouTube. Which the police had to wrack their brains to come up with the answer. I guess comments were disabled. And Wikipedia was down. And the internet was broken. Oh, and in case you didn’t know what the sphinx was, there’s a damn lecture about that too. Why is that important? Who the piss knows! But conveniently there’s a manga of it. Figuring out the answer to that led to a truly Riddler-esque jump of logic, but that’s okay, because the real answer was just that the numbers were their own address. So it’d kind of be more like the Riddler going “It’s easy as 1-2-3,” Batman going to the National Exhibit on the History of Counting hosted by Edward Zane McCounting, while the real bomb was at 123 Easy St, which happened to be the Bat Cave’s address, left there when an unsolicited pizza guy showed up and they let him in… while a dour man goes “Uh, bomb’s probably in your office, but whatever. No biggie.”

I guess it succeeded in extricating itself from its own colon. Ended up with its head stuck in a bucket wearing its Scooby Doo briefs on the outside of its pants though. That’s kind of a feat.

Posted in Terror in Tokyo | 2 Comments »

2 Shouts From the Peanut Gallery

  • algorithm says:

    That one was pretty great as I was trying to imagine the horror you were going through while watching.

    Also you forgot the lecture about Oedipus or how incest is a bad thing that turns people blind. That and colamentos being a terrorist hobby.

  • The Phantom says:

    This was a disaster, time to give that show about trains another go.