Maken-ki! DVD #01 — Exercising with Haruko

December 30th, 2011


I feel unclean.


So, my 1am train of thought begins with something along the lines of "Oh, a Maken-ki DVD special, let’s see what we’ve got here. Time to fire up the manual capper so I don’t end up with two screencaps per second of the short."

What followed thereafter was a slow descent into somewhere profane.

First off, it took me about a minute into it to realize that this beast was 10 minutes long. After that, when Haruko’s breasts began wildly flopping all over her chest from the act of doing a half-situp, I began contemplating that perhaps the air itself in the Makenkiverse was several times denser than our air. It would explain much, from their skintight clothes to the way that dangly female body parts seem to have to fight to move anywhere and can only do so by crushing whatever is in their path. Around this point, we had already passed through situps and squats, zooming in on her crotch twice, so she had to get changed and begin sword swings… putting all other floppy boob jostles to shame. I thought about paring down all my attempts to catch them at the peak of their floppiness, but I’m not sure if doing that would adaquately chronicle my evening.

Then she started doing pushups. Literally bouncing off her boobs against the floor was bad enough, but there was something about the way her cleavage stared at the screen… something dark… something inhuman… Then it was time for stretches with a full-on closeup of her angrily gaping cameltoe. Is angrily the right word for that? Hmm… Yes. Yes, I think it is.

Thank you, and good night.

Posted in Maken-ki | 14 Comments »

14 Shouts From the Peanut Gallery

  • Veneficae says:

    well atleast when people start using this as an exercise video. They got an excuse to stop instead of the usual “I’m tired from cardio.”

  • Jack says:

    This is exactly why I became a vegetarian.

  • Nanaya says:

    The hell? ….So I couldn’t sleep, and had nothing to read. Now I have nothing to read and can’t sleep from disbelief and… confusion. Why would they make this? Who thought this should be made?

    Subtlety. I miss when subtlety was played with. Or hinted at. Or thought of. Being… stared… at is not subtle.

    …why? Why, japan, why?

  • DmonHiro says:

    Dear Japan,
    I would like to bring to your attention that despite rumors, female nipples do NOT stay erect 24 hours a day. Yes, I know it is hard to understand such a thing, but it has indeed been documented as such.

    • Nan says:

      But, but, but, that would mean they were human beings and not vaguely mindless sex objects and support packs! You would condone such a mindset?!

      • Aroduc says:

        I dunno. The way I’ve seen those things jab through thick cloth in some shows leads me to believe that they’re actually metal studs or gun nozzles. Of course that doesn’t rule out sexual uses either.

  • Chen says:


  • Sporklord says:


  • kaon says:

    me encanto¡¡

  • jingoi says:

    Well it’s a million times better than nick swanson’s suck your own d*ck abs!

  • Leah-san says:

    Dear god, girl, get a bra!

  • ubu roi says:

    Are those breasts, or water balloons with nipples?

  • […] Maken-ki!, a show that didn’t make much of an impression on anyone or anything other than Haruko’s shorts. Far be it from me to criticize the concept – I enjoy fanservice-centric school fighting […]