天下制覇

   

Consistency is for losers.

Apparently the full English title, according to the show, is Fleet Girls Collection KanColle Animation Sequence. Sadly, I’ve seen worse. This season.

Impressions:

What is it recently with “squad of girls fight generic CGI monsters and/or shapes, and by fight, we mean shoot missiles or beams from off screen”? Was Valvrave really such a trailblazer that everyone else has to copy it? YesIknowitwasn’tthefirstbutit’stheearliestrecentonethatcomestomindshutup. Well, it’s not like Monday through Wednesday are strong, which is good because they’re taking it a smidge further by making the girls occasionally morph into that janky cell shaded CGI too. I mean, why not spontaneously change animation styles the moment it becomes marginally difficult to animate something and/or exciting? The animators would rather draw another five billion frames of girls eating ice cream, hanging out after school, blushing at each other, and standing in front of one of Japan’s countless bloom-emitting windows.

And therein lies the irksome issue that’s far more damning than some crappy-looking CGI water skiing. Once again, “people doing stuff” seems to be the afterthought while “faffing around” is the main content. The whole first half is basically faffing. Oh, here’s the idol girl. Here’s the archer girl. Here’s the girl with a catchphrase. Why? Because girls. Every show doesn’t need to be a nonstop fireworks display of explosions, people being eaten, and bullets flying, but, and as I feel like I’ve said dozens of times before, there still needs to be some kind of structure and purpose. Why are we meandering around the school? Why should I care about any of this? What is the purpose that this is fulfilling? Oh right. Girls exist. Quod erat demonstrandum.

Even after they were launched, some 15 minutes in, there was still plenty of faffing to be done. Oh, that clumsy girl that we’ve just sent into a supposedly deadly battle. She can’t even stay on her feet. Isn’t she precocious? Tee hee hee. It’s not even like the action was particularly good, even accounting for the CGI. Japan also really needs to understand that a character standing impassively in the middle of explosions (or beams, or being punched, or being shot, etc etc). That’s for some stooge at best before the protagonist turns on a super magnet and they’re stuck to it by their teeth. The evil unstoppable overlord who’s invulnerable to everything (except friendship power, obviously) but simply can’t be bothered to get off their ass and attack is not the thrilling menace to the protagonists you seem to believe, Japan. Especially when the protagonists are also taking missiles to the face and it results in nothing but scuffed clothes and a temper tantrum.

Monday through Wednesday are looking tedious already, and I say that after turning on the first few minutes of Testament and already being tired of it. Game quasi-reviews weren’t very popular last time, and extra time consuming. Perhaps I will ruminate.