Atelier Eyeless #01 — Look With Your Special Eyes

October 3rd, 2022


Alchemy is all about grunting.


As with Sunday, the Monday pickings are slim. This and literally nothing else. I wish I could say that this is a weird one. The first eight minutes certainly are. An eyeless orphan achieves ocular proficiency through a haircut, the proceeds to grunt her way through a baffling test by remembering the times when she was eyeless and had this exact 'random' thing happen to her before, like a particularly corny Slumdog Millionaire. At the same time, the school is shown to be massively corrupt, but that's just brushed off because this is actually a story about how she did her best and that is the most amazingest. Again, by grunting very loudly. 

And that's the story driven part of the episode. The second half switches gears ever so slightly and becomes more like Animal Crossing where she buys a house somewhere and goes deep into debt. And… that's it. If you thought Tom Nook's speech needed to be ten whole minutes, then here's the show for you. It doesn't have literally anything in the way of humor. Any kind of story is nonexistent. Certainly no action or adventure. Nobody has learned a valuable lesson here except maybe "Don't trust the man," but even then, that's more to the audience because all of the characters smile happily when faced with mass corruption and exploitation. It doesn't even have "girls are friends." That's saved for next week. Just… a girl grunts for about thirty seconds, and is eyeless. Even if this was an actual Atelier opening, it would rank pretty damn low. 

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