Shoot! Goal to the Future #01 — I LOST AT A VIDEO GAME

July 2nd, 2022

 

WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Impressions:

For as much comedy as there was in the earlier show, this is the one that made me laugh to tears. The start is so, so, so bad that is has to be a parody. He's playing the cheapest, laziest, worst version of let's say Battlefield imaginable, and his teammates are yelling at him to shoot. This sends him into a PTSD flashback of playing soccer, another time when teammates were yelling at him to shoot, but he choked. And he chokes here too, so his teammates call him trash. This causes him to throw a screaming tantrum about how he is absolute human scum for having screwed up a kick one time and been bad at a video game. This was already pretty damn funny, but this tantrum would continue for the next ten minutes, including a dude who was angry at him for being a bad teammate, and decided the best way to express this would be to scream and berate him. At this point, he challenges him to a fight, but emo dude goes "okay, our fight will be penalty kicks." Why? Because penalty kicks are the core of soccer! You can't say you're good at soccer unless you can kick and/or defend a penalty kick!

All of this is completely, 100% straight and not a parody in any way whatsoever, which is what makes it so hilarious. None of it makes a single bit of sense and is so detached from reality that I don't think there's any choice but to laugh at it. Losing a single game? Losing a single online game? Being called garbage by teammates in an online game? My god, that's what happens when you play well. It clearly thinks itself heavy drama, but it's almost literally a dude throwing a twenty minute tantrum with some random soccer stuff tossed in haphazardly to make it fit the generic sports show template, right down to the super coach watching from afar. We're supposed to be getting behind this character? We're supposed to take this toddler's fit kicked off by losing at a video game seriously? Now that is comedy.  

 

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