The Moon, Laika, and Nosferatu #01 — Oral Fetish

October 3rd, 2021


I worry about whoever animated that.


Wow, it feels like it's been years since I had to suffer through an ALI PROJECT opening. I did not miss them. But subjected to nonstop corny Soviet background music after that is almost a relief. I mostly love how serious this show takes itself but how absolutely nothing in the writing makes a single iota of sense. In alternate Earth, where not-Russia has a flag of literal snakes, the most important thing in the world going on is winning the space race, but also, it would be a national embarrassment if the other nations found out they were actually trying, so they have to hide it and pretend like they don't care. You read that correctly. This is a setting that has tsundere Soviet Union.

But wait, it gets immeasurably worse. Because a human failing to go to space would be super embarrassing, they're sending a vampire instead, but again, that has to be a secret. So they grab quite literally just some random dude who sort of knows some stuff about space, but isn't an instructor or anything, give him a vampire girlfriend, say "this is your problem now," and leave. Again, you've got that correct. This is the most important thing in the world, with the full force of the government, so they've handed it off to a random teenager with zero preparation or support. And to show how serious it is, they burn the orders that said absolutely nothing like it was from Inspector Gadget's boss. Oh, wait, they also gave him a fourteen year old assistant who read some stuff about vampires. Well then. From any of that did you get that this was a story about racism? Or that half of it is told just through a random narrator giving a voice over?

And oh lord, I didn't even mention the scene where she eats. It's like 30 seconds straight of massively over-drawn and hyper animated oral fetishism. Closeups of her tongue running over droplets falling off of food. Glistening lips. Every single crevasse of her teeth as she bites down. The fine detail of the inside of her gums. Whew, I think I need to lie down. If you're looking for a take-away, you won't find it here. But it was amusing writing about the utter madness that is whatever the hell that script was. 


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Posted in Laika | 3 Comments »

3 Shouts From the Peanut Gallery

  • LUNI_TUNZ says:

    I might keep up with this one just because of how nonsense it was. And the only thing missing from that scene of her eating is her clothes popping off like she was in an episode of Food Wars.

  • Anonymous says:

    I think our takeaway is meant to be that she is to be protected from mean people at the base and that she would be good at licking cock (note: licking)