Battle in Five Seconds #11 — Ugly CGI Crying

September 20th, 2021


When even was the last time there actually was a battle in five seconds?


Episodes like this make me irritated that I said even qualified semi-nice things about the show last week. This was Bad, with a capital B, exemplified probably best by his entire plan hinging on being stabbed with a small knife in a particular spot where he secretly taped a piece of steak to himself. That's the level of intelligence where we used as a launching point for an over-long, convoluted explanation of the entire Xanatos Gambit. Less any kind of satisfying heist-like conclusion, more dumb ass-pull and anticlimactic rambling.

But that's merely the first 14 minutes of the episode. It not only can get worse, it will get worse. Because then we jump over to CGI Muscles, who is only getting more CGI as the show goes on. But that wasn't so bad last week, so it can't be too bad, right? Wrong. We're in the present for maybe two minutes of this section before we're sucked into a flashback explaining why we should actually be feeling sorry for these sociopathic mass murderers. They were physically abused, so feel bad for them. Yeeeah, I don't think that excuses the glee and gusto with which they've jumped to enslavement and mass murder, writers. Is this really how we're going out?


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