Shield Heroine #05 — Happy Murder Girls

February 5th, 2020


Wait, are we the bad guys?


Now that I think I've made my decision about which of the two awful MMO shows to subject myself to, it's time for regret and doubt to set in, and this episode was eager to supply reasons for both. You'd think it wouldn't be hard to come up with ways to make chaining rivals together into a challenge that builds towards the inevitable "the real magic was the friendship we made along the way," but even that would have been too much conflict. Christ, the first thing that happens after they're chained together is they stumble over a coin and all go "No, no, we're all friends, and you found it, and whoever found it should keep it." I guess we forgot that the episode began with her trying to mug them. And then the chain thing is used for exactly one gag before it just up and vanishes, and the new character is summarily booted from the rest of the episode.

So here we are at the halfway point, having abandoned the original premise of the episode despite being trapped in the middle of what is supposedly a multiple episode arc. So how does the quest continue? Where do they go next? A montage. They skip over the part where they actually do anything to get to playing in the sand with some rando for about three minutes. Then I guess there was a squid nearby which they one-shot, and actually, the gameplay stuff is the fun part, so one of them goes off to rob and murder everybody in a ten mile radius, but not before taunting, mocking, and terrorizing them first. You know, like a good guy would do. Yay girl power and friendship! Who the hell is writing these scripts? I would pay good money to understand what the hell they're thinking. It'd be one thing if they seemed at all aware of what they were doing, but they most certainly do not.

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