Shield Heroine #04 — Yelling “Cover” Ten Thousand Times

January 29th, 2020


Can we just… stop doing that?


It's come to my attention that the simulcast version of this cuts out about four minutes of every episode. Now, granted, about one minute of that is the preview for next week, plus some dumb interstitial stuff, but another two minutes of that is the summary from last week, and let me tell you, if you're sitting down to watch this, and not having a summary of the non-existent plot screamed at you by middle-aged Japanese people for two minutes before being subjected to the bubblegum pop opening, you're experiencing this show very, very differently from me.

The rambling aside up top is also because this was another somewhat baffling episode. Baffling because they have actual animators animating actual animation, and I for the life of me could not tell you why. Have just one of those animators browse some webcomics for about five minutes and steal their jokes. Hell, have one of those animators play an MMO for five minues so you understand how they work. You have a bunch of supposed developers/admins sitting in a circle, lamenting that their unbeatable boss was easily beaten despite them giving it somewhat higher stats. That's not meant to be a joke. That's story exposition. And I couldn't even tell you what the 'exploit' that they even used was. Near as I can tell, they distracted it briefly, and then the attack that did nothing the first time one-shot it. It was just a genuinely animated action scene where they struggled slightly, but overcame it by trying slightly harder, winning the prizes that nobody was meant to win but were inexplicably put into the game anyway. Again, nothing there was meant as a joke or parody. Hell, most of it was delivered as after-the-fact exposition.

This show continues to… irritate me. Even the big battle, the supposed climax of the whole episode, ended with about five more minutes of just screwing around, so I don't even know what was going on. But at least it does so by part of it being far more competent than it has any right to be. Then again, given how woeful the writing, humor, and dramatic elements are, a flipbook would probably be more competent than the rest deserves.

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