The Abandoned Sacred Beasts #04 — March to the Sea

July 22nd, 2019


This episode was juuuust a little bit horrible.


First off, the central mystery and reveal was asinine. We're given exactly two facts, dude's on a relentless march towards something, and dude spent all his free time drawing the ocean. Twenty minutes to put that mystery together. Eat your heart out, Poirot. Second, the fetishization, and yes, fetishization, of that bridge was ridiculous. It desperately needed a sick kid who needed medicine across it or something, not to have about eight different characters all euphorically singing its praises about how it is the bringer of all good things in the world. Then it got worse by having its owner show up to be the ridiculous antagonist of the week and yell about how the bridge is actually all about earning him money. Some sick kid would've been corny, but would've personalized the stakes rather than relying on the innate divinity of a vulnerable bridge built onto a cliffside about a mile away from the ocean, which is, you know, that big thing that people ship stuff across. Put two train stations and two ports there, you putzes. How it hasn't been wiped out by random bandits or even just a regular rockslide before this point is another mystery for the ages. Don't design your empires with a single point of failure, boys and girls.

Logistical nonsense aside, it's not like the rest was any real catch either. The foolhardy plan that obviously wouldn't work was to pin the thing down and blow it up. The plan that did work was to pin the thing down and blow it up but the protagonists do it. The dude's going out of his way not to harm anybody, even people who attack him, so as soon as people attack him, he immediately kills all of them. We've finally tracked down the elusive Cain, and here's a shot of him walking down the street, casually murdering every single person in a twenty yard radius, leaving flesh eating ghouls in his wake. Wait, did we say elusive? Oops. The opposite of that.

Next Episode:

Posted in Sacred Beasts | Comments Off on The Abandoned Sacred Beasts #04 — March to the Sea

Comments are closed.