Princess Principal #03 — Metal Gear Stupid

July 23rd, 2017


Friendship and shrieking and shrieking about friendship. Fantastic.


Christ, are you kidding me with this crap? It's bad enough that we're in the past seemingly solely so that the sidepiece can shriek endlessly, but hey, let's toss in a tragic flashback about how she's not only the subject of abuse and experimentation by her father, but also bullied. Good thing that Princess Jesus was there to be her friend and earn her undying love, which is shown in the form of shrill nonstop whining. Her entire arc was basically "SPIES ARE DISHONEST!" "Grow up." "NO!" Repeat x10. And then she does. Because of mutual friendship for Princess Jesus.

The spy bits also took more than a little bit of a hit this week for a large number of reasons. There's the worst soldier ever who lets just whoever into highly restricted areas and then leaves them completely unattended because it'd be a little awkward otherwise. Or Chekhov's pen-gun, which apparently we simply dropped at some point and everyone forgot about it. Or the soldiers then shooting the hell out of their own blimp to absolutely no effect, but the moment the little girl pulled out her colt, she can not shoot the people shooting at her, but shoot a panel off the blimp fifty feet BEHIND them which then hits the people shooting at her. At which point, she then jumps into the room to kick them in the face. I can think of a few steps to simplify things, guys. And then there was the 'climax', when Shrieky finally decided to stop being a petulant child and help by faking one guy's voice. In a room that was supposed to have at least three people in it. And was on fire. I guess they were the quiet, cold kinds of fires. And we don't need to worry about the other guys. And this was even needed why exactly? They already showed that it took a while to cannon down doors, and all this 'successful' deception did was buy… marginally more time. To clean up? Was that it? Was that really all? Probably, yes.

Posted in Princess Principal | 7 Comments »

7 Shouts From the Peanut Gallery

  • sonicsenryaku says:

    ” she can not shoot the people shooting at her, but shoot a panel off the blimp fifty feet BEHIND them which then hits the people shooting at her.”

    The side of the blimp she was on would have obstructed angle of her shot so she aimed for the panel directly within her line of sight instead, which, in her eyes had the better chance of hitting the men. It was meant to be more of a distraction than anything as it doesnt actually hit them, it just lands in their area, basically forcing them to duck out of the way and stop shooting at her. It’s still a stretch to rely on that kind of precision but heck, we are talking about an over-glorified spy flick. This kind of shit is in the vein of the mission-impossible series. There is a sense of fantasticalness to be had with some of the esponiage and the ability of the spies. For crying out loud there’s a sword weilding loli; at what point were you not tipped off that things would be over-the-top?

    • Aroduc says:

      Missing the forest for the trees here.

      Specifically the impervious-to-heavy-weapons-and-artillery-but-vulnerable-to-a-handgun-at-very-long-range-AND-the-plan-was-idiotic redwoods.

      • sonicsenryaku says:

        I get your complaint very clearly as that was my initial reaction but im specifically addressing your criticism about why she didnt shoot the people that we’re seemingly in front of her (again, she would have to curve her bullet trajectory on some angelina jolie shit from wanted in order to hit those guys from the angle she was at).

  • Neclord X says:

    Three episodes, three episodes doing spy/action-man things… Well, to me this show goes perfectly fine.

  • LUNI_TUNZ says:

    Dude turned his daughter into a cyborg for the hell of it? That’s the most bizarre plot point I ever saw, I hope he gave her a better power than just changing her voice, because if not that’s an oddly specific, and if she didn’t hook up with spies, totally useless ability.

  • AH says:

    This title is redundant, because Metal Gear has always been kind of stupid. That’s part of the whole point.

    Sure, it’s Faux Realistic in certain areas, but very dumb and very silly at the same time. So I don’t mind any of this. It’s still fun.