Tales of Zestiria #09 — Check Out Our CGI Water

September 4th, 2016


They were really proud of it this week for reasons I don't understand at all.


Oh god. They gave an actual big scene to the idiotic mascot characters search quest. But what was really special about that scene is that the tree monster wasn't CGI. And yet, may have given a good argument for why it should have been. Or maybe it's just that the rest of the first half of the episode was so miserable. Between the mascot character (complete with obnoxious accent), Sorey's 'training' bit where they just basically go "He's too nice, we need Mikleo." Which doesn't make an iota of sense because they go again later "We need Mikelo!" but the reason why isn't because of anything about him at all. It's because he has a bow. That's the moral lesson of this episode. Always bring a bow. And then a giant CGI snake typhoon popping out of nowhere to get about five seconds of a semi-fight before being divebombed by a dragon-but-not-a-real-dragon which stuck around for about 15 seconds before flying away again. Yeah, that wasn't idiotic at all. But apparently it's the cause of everything.

After a brief bit of more awful looking CGI water and Mikleo's walkabout with his obnoxious magical pet, it was straight on to the dragon. Why they couldn't just fight it back when it first showed up is a mystery to me. Well, it's not. They needed to pad out the episode length. Yada yada, Sorey and Mikleo reunite, fuse, beat dragon in single hit to triumphant orchestral fanfare, thereby saving the surrounding few hundred square miles, as shown through a camera shot from up Alisha's ass. Would it kill them to actually struggle against anything at any point? Or find a better ass to shove the camera up?


Posted in Tales of Zestiria | 2 Comments »

2 Shouts From the Peanut Gallery

  • PP2 says:

    This show is so fast paced I’m not sure the “pad out the episode” complain really works, doesn’t feel rushed but it’s really fast paced with barely anything connecting the scenes. “We’re in the middle of a forest, and now a river, and now inside a building in a town, and now a mountain.”