天下制覇

This was a very mouthy segment.

Impressions:

Okay, time to get back into the swing of things, and what better way to do it than with a blatantly vapid filler chunk. Why this exists, I have no idea. I think maybe it was originally supposed to be part of Ringo's abortive ending, what with jamming her little sister in for (spoiler!) no reason whatsoever and the stuff with her shrine maiden crap before the 'real' story goes off to (spoiler!) magic land after this chapter, but alas, here we are, with a fat lot of nothing at all that goes on and on and on. Yeah, that's about the extent of the 'insightful' things I have to say about this segment, and the worst part is that I'm still only probably about a little over halfway through this pointless stupid chapter.

Our Story Thus Far:

After our month long slumber, we pick things up in a very pink dream of the entire harem fighting over our dick. Ringo agrees to settle for licking our butt and Karin goes for the nipples. We wake up just before coming, only to find Karin latched onto our dick. When interrogated as to what she's doing, her response is "blowjob." Oh, and our roommate is still asleep in the room. Yada yada one excessively overexplained bout of fellatio and needless choice about whether we prefer sucking or licking later, yogurt shower. Then she explains that she's been addicted to the taste ever since the hamster's shenanigans. Uh, okay. We tell her we need somewhere more private or people will find out, whereupon Blondie pops up to ask who exactly before lightning bolting us.

Karin helpfully explains that she was giving me a blowjob, which confuses Blondie, so Karin explains the mechanics. Thanks, Karin. Blondie grills her on what dicks taste like, and upon confirming that they're delicious, demands blowjobs too. She pulls down our pants and bites our dick.

In class, Ringo wants to know why we're hunched over, so Blondie helpfully explains that she bit our dick and it's out of action for a while. Wet Towel seems disappointed. Lillian starts class with the announcement that the school festival is at the end of the week. Oh boy. She's excited about whatever the class is going to do, but Wet Towel wet towels it up and explains that the fun things are clubs only. The class is doing a report on Tokyo Bay water pollution. After being reminded that she's part of the magic girl club, she races off to start getting ready, forgetting to teach class.

Later, she never came back. We find her in the club room complaining about how long we took to get there. She has a feast ready for us. Karin immediately shoves a donut in her craw. Kururu wants to do a dance for the festival, but Wet Towel insists on something that'll actually pay for magic girl activities. Lillian suggests a striptease because it's something girls do for money in the human world. Every ignores every part of that except the stripping. Wet Towel is against it, but knows a strange amount about it because she reads filthy, filthy books. Karin suggests a cosplay cafe. Everyone's excited about that and eager to spend the money they earn on food, except for Wet Towel, who looks dejected at their lack of frugality.

Preparations continue. They're all making costumes. As a guy, we're on hard labor and not allowed anywhere near the sewing because we might learn their sizes and/or do SOMETHING. Later, the first costume is finished, a hedgehog for the hamster. Which they didn't bother drawing. And is apparently made entirely of needles. Karin's having trouble sewing with her handpuppet on. Wet Towel is proud of her sewing talent, but we reveal that Ringo's a master tailor too.

She agrees to teach Blondie and Karin, but gets dragged off for polo stuff. We say it's surprising she's so popular, but apparently we're the only one with that opinion. We don't buy it, so we sneak off to her water polo buddy/roommate and ask her if Ringo actually picks on her. The only bad thing she'll admit to is that Ringo oversleeps, but that's cute so it's okay. Ringo pops over, none too happy about us slacking off. Her roommate teases her for getting jealous over her boyfriend. She insists we're just a childhood friend, but we tell her roommate we got promoted via blowjob. Or try to, but get punched in the face.

We go back to working on the booth stuff. Karin's struggling with sewing still and fireballs us when we say she's clumsy. Kururu pities Karin, but is useless herself. Ringo comes back to feed all the magical pets, including the hand puppet, and Karin inhales another donut. She tells Karin where she got the food and she runs off to inhale more donuts. We demand to be fed too. Ringo says only if we'll be her pet. Kururu wants to be a pet for fish too.

Ringo laments how useless Blondie is at sewing too because she just uses magic to change. Blondie takes that as a good idea but Ringo shoots it down. Karin wants to be taught how to thread a needle. The hamster suggests doing it naked since they won't get the clothes done in time. We notice Lillian and Wet Towel are gone. Cut over elsewhere, Towelly is begging to be taught to be a better tailor than Ringo. No sleep for Lillian again tonight.

Day before the festival, Blondie's exhausted. Karin's asleep with her eyes open. Wet Towel has finished her costume and is ready to confront Ringo. She demands to know which of hers or Ringo's is better. We admit Wet Towel's is, but it's because Ringo had to make Kururu and Karin's too and didn't have time to do all the decorations she wanted. The question then turns to making the food. Everyone looks to Ringo. The peanut gallery gets mad when they're not even asked if they can help or not.

…But they're useless. Wet Towel says it's her turn, but all she can make are cheap peasant meals like putting ketchup on rice. Kururu is all for that. Nobody else is. Luckily, a little girl wanders in. It's Ichigo, Ringo's sister. She brought a gigantic chunk of ice for the penguin. Ringo freaks out about her being here, forgetting that it's not a school day and worrying that she got molested because she came by herself. Unlike Ringo, she's very polite and extremely nasally.

They all freak out over her calling them 'onee-chan'. Wet Towel is feeling left out, so we tell her to shove it. Blondie commits a faux pas by asking why she's dressed like that, so Wet Towel hits her and calls her stupid. Ichigo explains it's shrine maiden clothes. Blondie has no idea what that is. Upon explaining that Ichigo's a shrine maiden at a shrine, and does chores, Blondie for some reason declares she wants to be one too. Ringo rattles off all the crap shrine maidens have to do and how she wants nothing to do with it anymore… but it's perfect for Ichigo.

Blondie still wants to be one. Wet Towel mumbles that non-virgins disallowed. Karin says she wouldn't be able to be one anyway, but Blondie demands to be allowed to try. Ichigo plays truce-maker by whipping out apple candy and shoving it in everyone's craws. We're entranced by the sloppy blowjob noises they're making while sucking and licking on the candy and the way they're making themselves sticky messes, except that the penguin is crunching its ice and ruining the mood. Still getting a boner though, which we have to hide from Blondie. Ichigo brought cream puffs too. Wet Towel has never eaten puffs more expensive than 100 yen (~a dollar) before. We think to ourself how unlike her Ringo is and imagine if she was as demure and graceful, making the boner worse and choking on our cream puff. The conversation eventually turns to what we were doing and we explain our lack of food making skills. Ichigo offers to help us make cream puffs, and this is a good cutting off point to this insipid nothingness of a chapter.