天下制覇

  

What? CGs? Who found a modicum of budget?

Random Thoughts:

Vacation and non-scheduled things make procrastinating easy. I had gotten up to the sex scene over my vacation, but didn’t get the will up to finish the rest of the chapter. Oh well. I will say that the end of this chapter’s the first time it’s started to come a bit more alive. Not so much the long internal bits of Masaki explaining to himself that a hero overcomes challenges, but if you cut all of that out, which equates to probably about half the text in that section, there was a decent setup to the first real fight of the game. Of course, like all the fights, it’s painfully trivial if you expend even the slight amount of thought into it, but eh. I guess it’s a step up.

Like many an other game I can name though, particularly Giga ones, this was laying on the foreshadowing heavy and thick at certain points, especially around Karen and Wet Towel while the characters blithely ignore it, and I can only assume hope that the reader does the same. It also doesn’t help when they call explicit attention to it with them making constipated faces and going “…”. Silence is a tool, and it’s probably up there with flashbacks as one of Japan’s most favorite tools to abuse. Especially when it’s about something that we’re obviously not going to be getting to any time soon. Some of it could’ve just slipped by (although would’ve no doubt been helped by more vague wording), but there’s a big difference between a character simply saying nothing, and explicitly putting a neon sign over a character’s head with “LOOK HOW THEY’RE SAYING NOTHING HERE! EH!? EH!?”

Our Story So Far:

She introduces herself as Lily Ann, and insists we call her Lillian. Wet Towel is against the full name. She immediately moves the class to the art room, aka the magic girl club room, where she throws out a pile of costumes and such for us to ‘do art’ with. Karen reminds everyone that they’re supposed to be working on landscapes (apparently). Later, at club time, we want to recruit Lillian as the club advisor. We go to talk to her, and find her playing with clay, including making out with it. She doesn’t notice us barge in. We offer to fondle her to get her attention. Ringo doesn’t approve. 

Instead, Karen nukes the little clay thing she was working on. Finally, she snaps out of it and we ask her to be our advisor. She gives us a straight up no (desu), so Karen starts nuking the rest of her clay dolls. She kicks us out. We try to get Wet Towel to help, but she plays dumb.

  

At night, Ringo wants to skip patrol to watch some terrible show. The conversation turns to little sisters, and Kururu informs us that witches/magic girls only have one heir, so nobody in their world has siblings. The question comes up about how they reproduce then, but Blondie has no idea. We offer to run some tests. Ringo’s not amused. Blondie doesn’t know what mating, insemination, or sex is either and starts yelling about them. We decide to skip patrol today. Karen says that there won’t be any magimon anyway. Everyone just lets that pass for some reason.

 

We head back to our room for an evening with our pornography, but Wet Towel confiscates it. We wander outside in frustration and run into Karen who’s out on a walk. We join her. She asks us how we can use magic, so we fill her in and tell her we want to be a hero to be popular with all the girls. And maybe some other promise to Ringo years ago, but we’ve forgotten what it was. We try to pet her hand puppet and it bites us. For some reason, we still think it’s just a hand puppet. Just then, Papirin shows up again. She wants to know where the others are, but we say we’re just out on a date with Karen. Papirin gets upset and says she’ll patrol if we won’t before storming off. Karen goes after her.

 

We go to see Kururu instead. We surprise her in the middle of something, and she reflexively tries to nuke us, but we reflect it and hit the cat. Wet Towel (roomate) is out SOMEWHERE, CAN’T IMAGINE WHERE. We find out what she was trying to hide. It’s our porn. We start reading it together. She learns that the dick goes in the vagina for REAL sex. We ask her if she wants to try. She agrees and we both start stripping… and then we hear Wet Towel in the hallway. We both grab our clothes and hide in the closet. SHOCKINGLY, Papirin walks in. She reveals herself to be Wet Towel. *GASP* Blondie forgot her underwear outside though. She finds it, assumes that Kururu left it when she went out on patrol, and does the logical thing; sniffs it, strips down to her socks and a smile, gets out a mirror, and starts going to town on herself.

After enjoying the show for a while, Blondie and me stuffed in the closet are too turned on to not screw under the jackets, resulting in, and I quote, “a waterfall of semen.” Again, someone needs to badly see a urologist. It looks like cream cheese. Side note, there was a choice in there to forego the waterfall and go back to watching Wet Towel abuse herself. We collapse out of the closet, and get Team Rocketed again, which makes all our clothes appear on us because extra CGs are hard. In the morning, we’re bragging about losing our virginity to Sidekick and both us and Blondie are all giggles. Ignorance is bliss, explains Wet Towel to Ringo’s confusion.

 

Lillian announces that nobody’s out anymore after dark without permission. It’s because Sidekick was caught peeping again. He’s chased out of the class. Anyway, we NEED a teacher’s permission for magic girl club activities now. We try to recruit her again, and Karen wins the day by saying she doesn’t have to actually do anything, but Lillian attaches the condition that Wet Towel needs to be responsible for us, ie that we need to do something productive. Also, she calls us the masochism club. Hilarious Japanese sound-alike words! Anyway, Wet Towel is No Fun Allowed about it. Since it’s day, we need to figure out an activity. Blondie drags us outside to go flying. We try to mount Karen’s broom, but she threatens to kill us. Blondie takes off with Wet Towel on board and starts barrel rolling, making Wet Towel grab her boobs for balance. We can’t decide whether to leer at the groped tits or the panty shots. The groping eventually leads to a crash.

  

We try to trick Wet Towel into approving us for that but she shoots us down. Next, we try cleaning up the campus, and say Ringo should do it since she’s the water girl. She takes offense, so Kururu calls her Flatty. Thanks, Kururu. Ringo casts a spell that launches all the disgusting algae in the fountain straight up, and then it rains down on top of her. Good work, Ringo. Next, we try enforcing public morals. We tell Karen to incinerate evildoers. About the same time, Wet Towel steps on the beaten-up Sidekick who sees her panties. He gets incinerated.

 

Attempt #3, we display our collection of bell marks (think box tops), which are promptly incinerated as well. Attempt #4, we decide to play psychiatrist for people. Blondie uses the cat to demo. It’s hungry for fish. She corners Karen and uses it on her next. The only thing she gets out of her is donuts. Ringo’s up next. She has either ice or dick on the mind. TONGUE TWISTERS! We’re up next, for another sexual tongue twister about Wet Towel’s vagina.

  

Everyone’s feeling better though. Karen asks where bad feelings go. Blondie says nowhere ’cause everyone’s awesome in magic land. Uh, that seems ominous. This still hasn’t convinced Wet Towel, so she’s up last. Her thoughts are basically “they’re idiots, but I want to have fun with them too, except LIGHT BAD,” and then she explodes. Yeah, that’s not ominous either. Everyone but Karen ignores that last part and the exploding and is happy that she wants to join. She says no again and runs off. Blondie gets depressed, but we’re excited because we’re backed into a corner… because we don’t have permission to break curfew. Eesh. Night falls, and we go out anyway. Ringo’s the first to show up, and is sneezing constantly because of the cold. We tease her until Blondie shows up. We head out and see someone wandering around. We give chase, and a fat magimon almost drops on us.

 We murder it. Nothing really interesting here, so we included Kururu and Ringo’s transformation sequences.

  

After the fight, we sense someone watching us and are trembling with excitement. Kururu zaps the whole area, revealing the culprit, some strange unknown pink haired adult witch who we don’t recognize. She’s set a dark magic gravity trap and gets ready to kill Blondie. Note that the internal narration is calling her Lillian while the nameplate still has her as “Mysterious Witch.” Fantastic editing. Like Kururu, she can use every element. Anyway, at her moment of triumph, Lillian stops and giggles about how everything went just like the evil witch instruction manual said it would, then apologizes for hurting Blondie.

Now a ‘full-fledged’ villain, she reintroduces herself as the nefarious witch, Lillian. She also doesn’t understand how we see a connection between Lillian the witch and Lillian the teacher. She threatens to kill Kururu again, but for real this time. We declare that we’re the hero and we’ll face the villain, but she kicks our sword away and is generally unimpressed. She picks up Masamune to kill us with it first, and without unsheathing it, starts grinding it into our spine. We egg her on to try to get her to make a mistake, but can’t fight through the gravity when she does lose her temper.

Luckily, Papirin shows up to save us. Except that she forgot her costume. She tries to do something, but gets whipped at and then Lillian charges up some fire. Karen jumps in to try to counter-fire it, but is overwhelmed and both are blasted away. Karen was apparently outside of Lillian’s plans and she starts crying. She blasts Ringo out of frustration. We draw her attention back to us, and trick her into blasting us too, using the momentum to stab Masamune into the ground and break her gravity spell.

Since Wet Towel saved us all, we declare her the head of the magic girl club. Blondie throws a tantrum, so we say she’s the leader. That satisfies her, so she hands over another magic bauble. Wet Towel transforms them into a pair of swords and transforms as we gawk at her too. We get hit by the harem and then get a boner from her plunging cleavage anyway. Her magic’s also wildly inconsistent. Lillian gets mad that we’ve been ignoring her and attacks.

Wet Towel’s gimmick is that her elemental is random each round. Good thing there aren’t any primarily fire users to exploit our lack of consistent lightning. After beating up Lillian, she beats a hasty retreat. As everyone’s celebrating, we pass out.

Next Episode:

Magical animals.