Absolute Duo #08 — Absolute Nothing

February 22nd, 2015


I think their sun exploded.


I know there’s no objective measurement to determine if an episode sucks, but I feel like you can put together a pretty convincing one by measuring the number of montages, amount of time characters spend naked vs amount of time spent shrieking about it, and the number of pans over a female while describing them.

Ignore all the T&A padding and all this episode has was about five minutes of the two most boring characters being boring together by blushing and stammering out their feelings, but with twangy guitars, violins, and sunsets that look like a nuclear apocalypse as a half-assed way to make completely unemotional scenes between what are basically a pair of sea cucumbers emotional. Maybe start with the content first and focus on the window dressing afterward next time, guys. Oh but wait, she reminds him of the dead girl in his tragic flashback, so he’s conflicted over his emotions for the breathy blowup doll after all, even though he can’t return her feelings despite having been arm deep in the crotch of two girls earlier. That’s one thing, but dating? No way, man. Great. I shouldn’t be rooting for mallcops to be shooting up students, but this is the situation you’ve placed me in, show.

Posted in Absolute Duo | 3 Comments »

3 Shouts From the Peanut Gallery

  • algorithm says:


    How did you not turn blind again?