World Conquest #05 — The Magnetic Properties of Japanese Genitalia

February 8th, 2014


There’s no other explanation for it.


I don’t even understand what Japan’s thinking. With one hand, they giveth, and with the other, they pick their nose and hold it up proudly. We begin with a knock-down drag-out lightsaber fight between almost all the characters which ends when… the protagonist accidentally gropes whose-her-face and they end up in the standard 69 Japanese male-female collapse position. After that, they spend a concentrated 8 minutes trying to make out our incompetent useless protagonist to be… not incompetent and useless, if only by comparison. Maybe even kind of insightful, but this is still Japanese media, so less Sherlock Holmes, more Droopy, Master Detective. All that only to then reduce him to agonizing insecurely over sneaking into the girl’s locker room with of bloody course him being ‘comically’ caught. Soon afterward, she’s molested by a tentacle monster, her light saber drops into his hands, and he becomes the goddamned Highlander.

So no, I would not call it the most overall consistent of episodes, nor do I expect either him to maintain his Jedi abilities going forward or White Whatever to maintain this newly fabricated ineptitude at everything. It does signal that the eventual real reveal of Whitey is going to be a thing which seemed like it went without saying, but now it’ll be a surprise, which seems a tad daft. Despite them undermining their own already somewhat mediocre attempts to turn Ensign Wiggles into something other than a boring piece of spongy white bread though, I’d still call it one of the stronger episodes of the show. It kept the focus tight, everything stayed in the present, characters were doing things for obvious reasons in a plot thread clearly leading from A to B to C to Tentacle Rape, and while ultimately futile, with about 3-4 minutes cut, it could have been a valiant attempt to salvage Wiggles’ character.

Next Episode:

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Posted in World Conquest | 6 Comments »

6 Shouts From the Peanut Gallery

  • Sanjuro says:

    Everything should go from A to B to C to tentacle rape.

  • elior1 says:

    incoming the second episode of hapiness charge precure where megumi will use the cards to change into cop and many forms

  • The Phantom says:

    The second mask thing was just a bit too much, even for a borderline absurd show like this.

    At least they did not bother trying to explain it though that would be an overkill.

  • Anon says:

    So, they are slowing importing the Loli H things? Nice one…