天下制覇

Confusion and bloodsport!

Just releasing a patch is no fun at all. Also, my advisor seems to have forgotten that I exist this term and is just rubber stamping anything I hand him, so I have a surprising abundance of free time to engage in shenanigans and little motivation to be productive after finishing this… at least until final papers hit. So here we find ourselves. With me in a rare position of unspecified power, and you know me. I’m like a zen chef of the internet. I use all the parts of the power.

So, I have a pretty-much finished patch of something, save torturing my editors to eek out every single nook and cranny of a game where writing is more like a blunt tool swung around anyway. Well, technically, I have three patches. One of them has four hundred seventy-five pictures of cats that look like Ron Swanson. The second has Dustin Gatlitz’s 2007 thesis on New Jazz… and four hundred seventy-five pictures of cats that look like Ron Swanson. Those two patches are free to anybody. Far be it from me to keep them from the world.

Mysterious Patch #1
Mysterious Patch #2

For the third patch, you will have to defeat me in mortal combat to obtain it. It probably actually patches something. Maybe even something posted here! Although fair warning, it’ll only work if you’re completely installed and up to date, which may also be a challenge in and of itself given the internet as it has been recently.

It may also contain cats.

So what I’m going to do is… in about 20 minutes, I’ll be going out to dinner with friends at Outback where I’ll endure a greasy Bloomin’ Onion for a passable French dip Freedom dip and drinks. Then I shall come home an hour or two later, and… should you be clever enough to find me wherever I’m lurking on IRC for the rest of the evening, and be stout enough of heart to defeat me at MBAACC, there will be a patch for an unspecified game in it for you. And possibly pictures of cats. Be warned, I know at least three combos and can block 100% of the time when I see an attack coming. Also, I play on a wireless laptop, so you know it’s going to be an upper echelon affair. Priority will be given to whoever my herd of helpers (or anybody who somehow got an op) decide that they like the most. Sucking up and bribing is not only allowed, but encouraged.

And yes, I am fully aware that this will either last until about 15 minutes after my first defeat or create a temporary caste of Melty Blood Haves that look down upon the Have-Nots. Frankly, I kind of hope it’s both.

I see no downside to this plan.

And no, I cannot stream it. I tried that once. My laptop made its extreme displeasure with attempting that quite obvious. I’ll make sure the replays get uploaded somewhere, and plan to take on all-comers up to delay of 8 (again, super awesome serious play is totally expected). Sorry, EU. What are you doing awake at this ungodly hour anyway?

There may or may not be a real post and public release Monday morning with significantly more bitterness and spite.

And fewer cats.