天下制覇

 Because if I’m eaten by a bear, this is a fitting message from beyond the grave.

Ten years ago, a great industry, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today blossomed in America with the mainstream success of Pokemon, Sailor Moon, and Dragonball. This momentous event came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of anime fans who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. In a short five years later, anime came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity. I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations, and your quest for anime has left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of brutality. But let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you, my friends. Let us not wallow in the mud and slime of anime and call ourselves blessed.

Let our minds be open to hatred and intolerance so that we may be free.

I have a dream that one day, even the blog-o-sphere, a state sweltering with the heat of apologists will be transformed into an oasis of indignation.

I have a dream that one day in the blog-o-sphere, with its mewling apologist and its leaders having their lips dripping with the words of "masterpiece" and "epic" — One day right there, people who have been disappointed with a show will be able to join hands with its fans and mock it together.

I have a dream that one day tolerance for poor execution because it is how the source did it will be struck down.

I have a dream that one day when a show is intolerable beyond God’s will, a voice of disdain can be heard.

I have a dream that one day one’s own opinion will be voiced with confidence and assertation instead of waffling to saying that everybody has their own opinions to desperately avoid saying anything negative.

I have a dream that one day when episodes are poor, writers will critically point that out instead of ignoring the slight and turning the other cheek.

I have a dream that one day people will rise up as one and declare to the heavens that show that used to be good is now terrible.

This is my hope, and this is the faith that I come to you with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of tolerance a stone of critical thought. With this faith, we will be able to transform the choir of praise into a jangling discord of argument. With this faith, we will be able to mock, deride, and tease together, knowing that our thoughts are free. And when this happens, when we allow argument to flourish, when we let it ring from every blog an every site, from every author and every subber, we will be able to speed up that day when all of anime’s fans, moe and mecha, slice of life and boobs, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of that old anime spiritual

Riley, Riley, Riley.

All kidding and parody aside (that is probably sending me straight to hell), I just want to express my appreciation to the other writers in the blog-o-muck who actually take a moment to write instead of rationalize. Anime is still a niche medium and the instinct to viciously defend any outside attack on it results in the most proactive and rabid fans tending to gravitate towards a mindset of EVERYTHING IS AMAZING and if you don’t think like this, then you’re not a fan. It strikes bloggers even harder because they then try to cater to this instead of sharing their own opinions. It takes at least some measure of chutzpah to actually stand out from the pack and dare to apply critical thinking to a show or revise your opinion past the first episode. And no, I don’t mean the people who wait two weeks and then write a 6,000 word treatise on the metaphorical meanings of self in Haruhi either. Instead of jerking off their readers, they’re jerking themselves off. Either way, you’ve got something unpleasant in your hand and a disgusting smell to explain to the neighbors.

There’s this particularly weird disconnect in anime writers where every single first episode of a show is either a masterpiece or garbage, and then barring total meltdown, opinion remains mostly constant from start to finish. It’s strange and confusing and doesn’t really do anybody a service except to further whip themselves into a frenzy when their precious medium receives any kind of slight. Shiki and Occult Academy this season have been particularly elucidating. I swear to Zeus, Vishnu, Loki, whoever, that I have seen people write two sentences about the episode followed by four paragraphs about buggerall. It’s even worse at the start of the season when everybody’s trying to stake their territories.

You don’t need to be like me, a spiny ball of mockery and hatred, and lord knows one of me is all I can handle, but do try to be a little more critical. Address flaws, don’t pretend like they don’t exist. Say how the show overcame its weakness, don’t implicitly claim that they didn’t exist. And for Ishtar’s sake, give the hyperbole a rest. A show does not have to be a masterpiece to be worth watching. This is important, so if you made it this far, pay attention. A bad show can still be worth watching. To quote Stephen Bond’s excellent writeup on blog criticism "Energy is eternal delight, and to damn something with energy is a more joyous and thrilling act than to ignore it, or say "it’s nice", or fob it off with other half-hearted compliments."

So the next time you feel the urge to call something a masterpiece, or realize that you just wrote a page worth of rationalizing how an episode might later be important or make sense, or realize that you just wrote 4,000 words on the voice acting cast and what other shows they’ve been in, step back a moment and let the hate flow through you. You are not a creampuff. It will not kill you to say that a show could have done things better. It does nobody any service to pin the masterpiece label on two or three shows a season. And if you already do that, keep up the good work and don’t ever let the blind praising from the shouting majority get you down.