Dumbells for Dumbasses #02 — Punching Bags

July 10th, 2019

 

The less said about DL, Retry, the better, so let's just skip it entirely.

Quasi-Impressions:

Of the three other shows today, I figured this had the most aesthetically pleasing and/or terrifying screencaps, and I'm fine with either of those. Its second episode was pretty much the same as the first. Maybe a slight improvement because it got both a little more absurd and the main characters were taking some, but only some, of the over-the-top muscle jokes in weary stride rather than screaming about them. Also, less drooling in general.

Astra mostly bored me, but I can point to the specific moment when I turned it off. They had landed on some alien planet, had a bunch of flashbacks about being neglected by their parents, and somehow, a little over halfway through the episode, one of them had gotten stuck on a bunch of giant Super Mario mushrooms and was being menaced by the local pterodactyl. That kicked off a scene that went something like this:

Kid A: "I've got to do these difficult jumps!"
Kid B: "No way! Is he going to do a series of difficult jumps!?"
Kid C: "But he's not wearing his special shoes that he needs to do difficult jumps!"
Kids B through M: *gasp!*
Kid D: "He's doing the series of difficult jumps!"
Kid B: "Oh no, he's tired!"
Kid D: "Of course he's tired, he's done multiple difficult jumps!"
Kid B: "Doing difficult jumps is tiring!"
Kid C: "But he still has more difficult jumps to go!"
Kid A: "I've got to do these difficult jumps!"

That was when I threw up my hands and said, nope. Enough. This is where it stops. Am I being mocked? Are you serious with this? It's like a goddamned Kingdom Hearts script except nobody mentioned darkness or hearts. What the hell has happened to the writers of Japan that traumatized them this badly?

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