October 7th, 2017


No animation allowed either.


Two minutes. Two goddamned minutes of shots of landscapes and stills. And even then, it was just people shifting their positions. At that point, it was time for a tour of literally every single goddamned named character so each one could slightly shift their position and say 2-3 lines each expressing their personalities. Don't amaze me too quickly, show. But wait, the race has finally begun, aaaaand it's time to cut away to something else. And here's another shot of the landscape. I really cannot understate how unanimated this is. Even the crosscounter punch at the end is just them sort of gradually leaning in together, a flash of light, and then the stills of them being moved backward. It puts Dies Irae to shame, and that was a joke. 

The second half would be a little bit better, mostly because it interspersed the super boring, race made up almost entirely of stills with the super weird timelapse backstory of the main two characters, but that could just be because it was super weird. And it feels odd to say that after watching a show about punching boob monsters. Mostly, it's because the budget apparently didn't include drawing boys. So no male faces are ever shown. Ever. There's no good reason for it. They're just always obscured. What are you hiding from me? 

Posted in Two Car | 4 Comments »

4 Shouts From the Peanut Gallery

  • Neclord X says:

    Did you put the entire review in the main page by mistake? XD

    Aroduc says:

    The (more) tag got deleted somehow. Never happened before, ever. Weird.

    anise_punter says:

    you just really wanted us to know about two car

  • jgoi says:

    Male faces don’t get shown because somehow just the presence of penises ruins a show about clam slammers.