天下制覇

I couldn’t resist using that ridiculous Engrish title. Or wondering what exactly happened when that truck hit her.

Impressions:

Wow, was this surprisingly boring. I was hoping for it to be truly godawful given the premise, but it didn’t even succeed at that until about 13 minutes in where MC and his woman began awkwardly fumbling over how to address each other, then she decided to rub his scar with her forehead. Foreplay over, she tried to jam her tongue into his mouth, which traumatized him so much that he screamed and recoiled, but luckily, there was a girl hiding in a tree nearby who attacked them, and all other rutting female chased away, tried to get him to kiss her. Afterwards, he went home, got a toy mecha in the mail, and got sucked into a flashback about watching TV. Thank god for that. The soporific piano and/or utter lack of BGM had nearly put me back to sleep again.

Let’s see what the good parts are then… The T&A is pretty low key until the leader of the pack began rubbing herself in the bath soon followed by him imagining the main cast of the show naked… some of which he had only seen once at a distance. What a convenient imagination. It instead just tries to pander with the herd of ovulating females all fawning over him immediately within 5 seconds of meeting him (or sooner!), which is more or less par for the course. It’s not horribly made either, although the direction and music are both fairly awful. Yes, yes. The shot from his PoV looking down at the girl while she cloyingly looks up with her shoulders back and barely restrained wet desire in her eyes. I get it. Find a new shot.

So bleh. I think I’d prefer it if it were worse. A lot worse. This doesn’t have the balls to revel in its terrible premise, the energy to make things funny (or even try most of the time), or characters who have done anything besides drool over the exceedingly bland main character’s dick scar. Pick up the pace here, get a lot worse, or (far more unlikely) get a lot better, because most of this episode, especially the first half, was a whole heaping load of nothing.

Preview:

Tiniest preview ever.