Kingdoms of Ruin #02 — Gratuitous Pudding Splattering
October 13th, 2023
Is everybody with pink hair in this show a clownish idiot?
Impressions:
I'm not saying that the evil empire isn't filled with murderous psychopaths. They are. To a comical level, including yet more characters who keep slipping into goofy SD faces at utter odds with the rest of the show's attempt to be super duper serious gratuitous jell-o splattering. But two of the three witches we've seen do anything thus far immediately tried to embark on campaigns of genocide. The second mostly succeeding despite being a kid with presumably only a year or two training and then locked up for a decade, which they try to use as a freaking Dragonball hyperbolic training chamber. That's how we're saying magic works. If you just think about it for a while, you become a master at it. No practice needed. Why was he even locked up in a super duper secret vat anyway instead of also just killed?
It's also a bit funny because good lord, does this show not have a budget. It can barely animate a large mannequin stomping around the city. When it comes time to jellify some random people, all it can manage is stills. It keeps trying to do these dramatic gory shots and is just like "picture of random person with red randomly splashed on image." Or worse, when it tries to do action shots, and it has absolutely nothing. Even the ending. "Oh, by the way, we have secret ways to bring people back to life, 'cause magic. Oops! I died!" Yeah, guys. Somehow, feel like this potentially shocking moment was a bit undermined.
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In case you‘re wondering how Seven Spellblades ended, it took them an episode to get to Ophelia as they dedicated several minutes to the act of learning how to walk on water only to not do that ever again and take a boat.
Several upper classmen act in the shadows or confront them only to declare that they can‘t or won‘t interfere with the plot.
Pete frees himself from prison with the bombs from the other dude‘s guts (this still has me baffled) but all he does is use a flare to get the protagonists to come to him right by the prison entrance except that‘s where Ophelia is waiting for them so I‘m not sure what the point of the offscreen prison break subplot that was exposited but never shown was.
Milligan argues Ophelia might as well let them go home since nothing matters anyway. That doesn‘t work out.
The group gets sucked into a 100% flawless barrier and fails in fighting against Ophelia despite friendship speeches. Milligan gets violently impaled 10 times and her arms broken but it‘s okay, she‘ll be completely unharmed in her next scene as she completely takes the piss out of the show. She truly is the one good character here.
Suddenly, the upperclassmen break through the 100% flawless barrier and the president narrates to the protagonists that Carlos is a magical castrate created to be an anti-Ophelia plot device in the worst case scenario. Both Carlos and Ophelia die by turning into golden sparkles.
After nothing has been accomplished by the protagonists, we timeskip ourselves into a montage of the full opening song playing to the main characters declaring they‘re super friends and doing their wand pose again, just in time for the antagonists to walk by and Oliver to narrate that the plot has yet to begin and we cut to the credits.
I could ask so many questions but that would probably involve more intellectual effort than was ever dedicated to this so I‘d really rather not.