天下制覇

Whatever this director is smoking cannot possibly be good for you.

Impressions:

This answers the question of what you would get if you combined Madoka's visuals with the corniness of a pretty-boys-in-cafes show. It certainly tries hard to pretend like it's going to be badasses… for about five seconds. Then everybody is naked in front of a girl and her pet sloth eating ice cream. Then they're transported to their cafe where they recite their little mantra. Oh, did I say little? It's seventy five seconds long. Fully 5% of the episode is consumed by nothing but listening to five dudes recite a poster hanging on the wall. Anyway, a girl is being cyber bullied by another girl, so while they're all in the bath together, one of their Spider Senses about suicidal girls goes off and he rushes out, no care at all of flashing his junk at everybody. He saves her, but then needs to go inside her, and the only way he can do so is by kissing her. So he goes into Madoka-land where he fights off cyber bullying by unlocking the bully's heart. Oh, did I mention we're Kingdom Hearts too? We're Kingdom Hearts too. Wait, I almost forgot. His transformation sequence is a minute long affair with crooning insert song as he cruises the stardust and speedlines, glistening like a goddamned glitter nuclear explosion.

All that said, everything until going to Madoka-land was glacially paced and Madoka-land itself has only as much fighting or action as it needs to just barely make a claim to being a magical boys thing. It's super corny and is going to definitely pull some comparisons to Wonder Egg with its quasi-focus on a suicidal girl being saved through fighting the bully in nightmare land, but doesn't treat it anywhere near as seriously. It's certainly not a good episode. The characters are all cariacatures, the story never leaves the station, and there's more focus on them being randomly naked than anything else. Still, I kind of feel like you need to watch the episode to get the full experience, in a kind of "Yo, this fruit tastes like a boiled diaper. You've got to try it," kind of way.