天下制覇

 

Can’t say I’m surprised.

I only have time for this before work. As usual, the rest will have to wait until after. Here’s the Rabbit thing’s OP to tide you over or something.

Impressions:

This wasted absolutely not time in establishing that it would in fact be wasting a whole lot of time. I hope you like pans over mediocrely drawn rural villages, orchards, and occasionally just trees. Just as I expected, they decided that the faffing about was going to be the draw of the content (and likely easiest on the budget), so the entire episode is just faffing about with nothing but more faffing to come if the previews are to be believed. So if you loved the game, but thought that the RPG and already laborious alchemy parts were getting in the way of nothing happening, then good goddamned news for you. The only nod to the former is Logy attacking the goddamned ground in a montage which scares off one of the Atelier series’s eighty thousand palette swaps of hamsters and wolves, now hunting together as packs. And the latter? They stare at a pot until it dings. Captured the spirit of the game bloody perfectly.

So no, it does not impress on any front, except maybe in accuracy to how pissant large parts of the games are, but especially this one; in particular the laborious intro, trivial core ‘missions,’ and bland main characters. The animation is practically nonexistent most of the time, nothing actually happens the entire episode, and the characters are as interesting as soap. It’s not trying to be cute, funny, interesting, anything. There’s not even a bunch of exposition lazily spat out about why you should be interested in anything. Just blowing time looking at things and introducing people to each other, every single incident of which can be summed up as “Hi.” “Hi.” and yet somehow go on for paragraphs. And no, “It’s an adaptation! If it sucked before, it has to keep sucking,” is not an excuse for anything but laziness. Even if you felt like it could only be compared to its peers in the faffing RPG adaptations, Happy Bread covered twice as many characters and still found time for baking and splashing montages.

It wouldn’t fly for something I had no previous exposure to, and it’s sure as hell not going to fly for something I don’t particularly like to begin with.

Next Episode:

More damn pie. More damn faffing.