Our Rainy Protocol #01 — Totally Accurate Call of Valorant
October 7th, 2023
I can see why it's the hottest e-sport around.
Impressions:
I'm sorry, but what on earth is this game they're playing? It looks like a cross between Call of Duty, Valorant, and Totally Accurate Battlefield Simulator. Were they banking on getting a buy-in from an actual game and couldn't so had to half-ass this? I hear Overwatch has fallen on hard times. It not only looks ridiculous, but like… have they actually watched any e-sports? They're playing quite poorly as well and this would be a highlight reel for someone caught cheating. Pre-firing, wallhacks, aimbotting, the works. It's all so ridiculous that it's hard not to laugh.
And I haven't even started in on the writing! Good lord, the writing. He's haunted by PTSD from some accident related to playing this game that I guess ended up crippling his little sister and gets over it because the gaming cafe he works at needs the prize money from the ultra cup to stay open, and their plan of cheating it out of the pro team they hired fell through. But everybody has their hard times, so get over it and save this huckster from bankruptcy! His team is apparently going to be the daughter of the fraudster who definitely doesn't have a crush on him. His desperate wannabe incompetent friend who wants to bang his crippled 13 year old sister. And the world famous actress who's their anonymous childhood friend gaming partner that the sister spends all day in bed watching soap operas of. Ye gods. How does something like this even come into existence? But at least it's not another reincarnation show!
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