Assault Lily #01 — The Chaos Theory Applied to Hair and Music

October 1st, 2020


Someone lost control of their composer and barber.

Reminder, there are something like six shows debuting tomorrow. Eight I think if you include sequels. I'll get to them all eventually. Except the sequels.


Not a strong start here either, although perhaps it would be more accurate to say that after a decent enough hook and OP, it squandered what little ground it established with about a two and a half minute montage of scenery and shots of thighs set to a mental invalid breathlessly rambling like an imbecile, introducing herself to nobody (but obviously actually to the audience/space goat that exists only in her fevered imagination). And then it got to the barrage of character introductions which should probably have been called "Check Out This Girl's Crazy Hair Set to Wacky Music!" I'm not over-exaggerating. Each one had to have some kind of both goofy hair, and goofy theme song. There were castanets. There was twitchy hair antennas. There was bludgeoning with oversized hair. There were harps. An orchestra kicked in, only to be replaced by a church bell that signaled the start of the RPG techno and ponytail-with-cowlick-extending-from-ponytail portion.

And unfortunately, there both wasn't much action in the rest of the episode, and the action is all against CGI robot balls. On top of that, it was the variety where the main character stares like a deer in headlights as everybody fusses over her until finally doing the bare minimum and attacking a whole one time. At least when StrikerS fought a bunch of robot drones for their trainee intro sequence, they pulled out all the stops and showed that the characters were certified badasses and blew up half a city. The titular imbecile here just hemmed and hawwed and fumbled and flustered. It's not like she was thrust into a surprise situation, or has the excuse that she just wanted a normal life or whatever. No, they're trying to have that cake and eat it too. So we have maybe 2 minutes of okayish silly action, but it's all fighting robot balls who so far haven't actually been a threat to anybody, and the price of entry is about 20 minutes of weird music, idiots rambling aimlessly, and some kind of bizarre hair wackiness competition.

Posted in Assault Lily | 1 Comment »

One Lonely Comment

  • The Phantom says:

    This kinda reminded me of Madoka somehow, maybe if they start killing girls this will be awesome, so far is mediocre at best.

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