天下制覇

Dreadnaught Formation HxEros
https://hxeros.com/
Studio: Project No 9
Genre: Boobs
Premieres July 3rd

Show Premise: 
A dude fights alien bugs with the power of sex energy.

Random Thoughts:
Lest you think they're parodying the zillion shows and fifteen hojillion pornographic games with this exact premise, they're not. Well, some character at some point probably yells "What is this clich・setting!?" which is all that it takes to be declared a subversive satire these days. Which isn't to say that it's automatically a lost cause, but it's not a great starting point, and the promos aren't promising much in terms of action. Or fanservice for that matter, which begs the question of why bother at all? The best I can say is that it reminded me of the overproduced and earwormy Djibril 4's opening theme, and now it's in your head too. That was a series with this premise that's like two decades old at this point, and had been going on for so many games that it rebooted itself into a Sengoku thing, trying to chase trends, and is now, like all things, a gambling thing for your cell phone. Ah, the history of Japanese pornography is such a rich tapestry of abject nonsense. 

Preseason Swing Rating: 

With cream on top.

Lapis Re:LiGHTs – In This World, Idols Can Use Magic
https://www.lapisrelights.com/anime/
Studio: Yokohama Animation Lab
Genre: Marketing
Premieres July 4th

Show Premise: 
Teenagers are magic pop idols.

Random Thoughts:
On one hand, ugh. On the other, part of the promo includes them playing magic dodgeball and a couple of them getting slugged upside the face. Unfortunately, that's a pretty minimum part, and there's far more focus on them, uh・existing while being teenage females. Be still my beating heart. It's one of those collect-em-all phone things, so it'll… be another one of those, the fifteen hundred seventy fourth of which, with only another twenty three hundred and seventeen more to go before it's out of our collective system.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Behold my waffle-kinesis.

The Misfit of Demon King Academy: History's Strongest Demon King Reincarnates and Goes to School with His Descendants
https://maohgakuin.com/
Studio: Silver Link
Genre: Action
Premieres July 4th

Show Premise: 
See title.

Random Thoughts:
In case the title didn't already clue you in enough as to what this is, the reason he's a 'misfit' is because he has so much power level that he explodes the sorting hat, and so he 'failed' his entrance exam. You know, like in that infamous Dragonball scene where the scouter explodes, and they declare that Goku must therefore have a power level of zero. That's right. The mooks in Dragonball are smarter than this show's characters. Supposedly, it's trying to be more of a comedy than other things of its ilk, but so was that show about the super defensive girl, or the super average girl, or the super cautious dude, etc etc etc, and all those quickly forgot any pretense of making jokes. That said, Oonuma Shin has traditionally done a pretty decent job with fanservice action comedies, and this is certainly in his (and Silver Link's) wheelhouse. I'd still be more optimistic if the promos weren't just explosions and a generic black haired dude posing while things explode.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

This dinosaur's already been picked clean, guys.

The God of High School
http://goh-anime.com/
Studio: Mappa
Genre: Action
Premieres July 6th

Show Premise: 
A dude fights in a magical tournament.

Random Thoughts:
It sounds like I'm being flippant, but the entire premise of this imbecilic nonsense is that there's a tournament for teenagers to fight in to be declared the God of High School. And in case you were wondering if it was yet another Korean Dragonball wannabe, the main character is literally Goku. Mappa, you're better than this. Actually, as I look down to the other thing you're doing this season, maybe you're not. The promos are, I suppose, quite animated, in the kind of way that induces motion sickness because the camera is dipping, diving, and spinning chaotically to over-dramatize two dudes kicking each other in the shin.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

No match for the god of fast food.

Deca-Dence
http://decadence-anime.com/
Studio: Nut
Genre: Action
Premieres July 8th

Show Premise: 
Humans live in the giant mobile fortress Deca-dence due to alien monsters roaming the lands.

Random Thoughts:
This is an original, so there's naught to go on but the promotional stuff, which is one gruff dude, a harem of cloying teenage girls, and a bunch of really bad CGI gears, because how else are you going to portray one of anime's ninety six million large robotic objects? And since we're completely creatively bankrupt, the one action bit they show has dudes rapelling around with oversized grappel hooks. See? We're just like Attack On Titan! You love that! But this has boobs! You love that! Love us! LOOOOOOVVVEEEE US! Crazily, despite the abbreviated number of shows, this won't even be the last post-apocalypse setting with a title that's a particularly weird loanword. How is there competition for a category that specific?

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Riding boldly on the corpses of others.

Rent-A-Girlfriend
https://kanokari-official.com/
Studio: TMS Entertainment
Genre: Drama
Premieres July 10th

Show Premise: 
A dude hires a girl to pretend to be his girlfriend.

Random Thoughts:
What is this bargain bin sitcom B plot schtick that they're trying to make into a whole show? Oh, there's a bunch of girls he hires, and they all fall in love with him because he's not a complete ass to them while paying them to fawn over him. Well, call this a triumph for women the world over. The really mystifying thing is that this apparently calls itself a comedy while everything about it is ridiculous soap opera drama nonsense. It keeps trotting out dying grandparents and sick girls with suffering from bizarre medical conditions. I guess they yell the title though, and that's all you really need to be a comedy.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Rent a clown would be so much more of a mundane yet fascinating angle.

Uzaki Wants to Hang Out
https://uzakichan.com/
Studio: Engi
Genre: Comedy
Premieres July 10th

Show Premise: 
A dude complains about having a large-breasted tomboy friend.

Random Thoughts:
Also ostensibly a comedy, where the jokes are exchanges like "I'm going to swing a bat. OW! I HURT MYSELF!" "That is because you tried to swing a bat without warming up first." But the appeal, as it were, if very clearly not the writing, the comedy, or if the promos are anything to go by, the animation. It's the tiny girl with "super giant" plastered across her excessively large chest, fawning over the sullen loser who does nothing but complain about having an attractive girl with a cantelope head and eyes the size of oranges taking a genuine interest in him.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Gaze into the all-consuming abyss.

Monster Girl Doctor
https://mon-isha-anime.com/
Studio: Arvo
Genre: Boobs
Premieres July 12th

Show Premise: 
A dude runs a clinic for monster girls.

Random Thoughts:
If you were hoping for more fun facts about animals, guess again, unless your idea of fun animal facts are things like "scratching a minotaur's ears sexually arouses them." Yes, it's that kind of monster/animal girl show, which I suppose is all monster/animal girl shows. Aaaand the promo is about 80% girls moaning. Another 10% is fingers or tentacles/tails being inserted into orifaces and coming out covered in slick goo. The remaining 10% are Powerpoint-caliber screenwipes. Dare to be great, Arvo.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Beep beep I'm a sheep.

Gibiate
https://gibiate.com/jp/
Studio: Launch Box
Genre: Action
Premieres July 15th

Show Premise: 
A dude fights a disease that turns people into monsters. Also, he's a time traveling samurai.

Random Thoughts:
'Gibier' is a French loanword that means game, as in hunted fowl and similar. They call the monsters that because there's a large variety of monsters, and there's a lot of different… uh, animals you can hunt? Don't look at me. That's the reasoning they give on the website. This is corny and it's already falling apart. It also means that you could accurately translate the title here as "Gamey" or similar, and that'd be… great. You'd think just having silly CGI alien plague monsters named after food would be enough, but then there's also time traveling samurai and ninja for some reason. In any case, the main selling point appears to be the Final Fantasy art dude doing the character designs, which I think means lots and lots of belts. The promos are CGI-riffic, super poorly animated, filled with speedlines, and yet, have weirdly fast paced guitar plucking music set to an overly-excited bassline. I don't feel optimistic.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Could be worse. Could be named "Sweetbreads."

Love and Producer: EVOL x LOVE
https://koipro-anime.love/
Studio: Mappa
Genre: Drama
Premieres July 15th

Show Premise: 
Teenagers are magic pop idols.

Random Thoughts:
Also known in English as "Mr Love: Queen's Choice," which is also… something. And yes, this has literally the exact same premise as that show above, except the magic pop stars are boys, and there may be someone of the opposite gender involved in some way for them to fawn over. Or maybe not. Who knows? This is also less high school activities, and more pretty-dudes-from-various-ridiculous-walks-of-life, like a super genius magical brain surgeon, and a super genius magical detective, and a super genius magical investment banker. And yet, the one thing they have no experience in is romance. Which is what our formless avatar is for. Yeah, sure. Whatever, Japan.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

There's DLC that's just a dude rambling. Each ten minutes runs you $15.