The Master of Ragnarok #02 — How to Write Bad

July 14th, 2018

 

Maybe this needs some groping.

Impressions:

I was pretty much done with this after yet more insubstantial zero budget minutes, but the climax of the episode was so impressively godawful that I don't think I can let this one pass by without at least a comment. Or perhaps a re-enactment is more in order.

"Oh no! The dude who always attacks in a chariot is attacking in a chariot! All is lost!"
"Aha, but this was part of our plan all along. I knew he would attack in a chariot because he attacks in a chariot!"
"You're so wise and smart and brave and wonderful."
"Yes. And now that he has attacked in a chariot, as I knew the man who attacks in a chariot would do, we can spring our trap!"
–One girl on a horse rides out to confront one dude in a single chariot–
–Girl immediately gets knocked off horse–
"Aha! I see you have a mighty iron blade too!"
"But it is nothing compared to a Japanese katana!"
"Aaaagh! I am slain!"
–Everyone leaves to take a bath–

Remember to tip the bartender on the way out, folks.

Posted in Master of Ragnarok | 7 Comments »

7 Shouts From the Peanut Gallery

  • Leivinia Birdway says:
    July 14, 2018 at 11:19 am

    I thought they would return to the beginning of the story, I do not understand the grace of skipping much of the development of events to reach a very advanced point in history where little is understood and the protagonist is unstoppable

  • Neclord X says:
    July 15, 2018 at 9:46 am

    I really laughted at his entire “plan” being just a girl fighting the enemy boss 1v1.

  • ark noir says:
    July 16, 2018 at 7:05 am

    I don’t get how he is getting these girls and categorizing them in sister/daughter columns and not cracking out the ‘whos your daddy’s line to them? His tactial onus is embarrassing though and I cheering for the wolf advisers to stab him in the back.

    all he gonna do:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByAuEvnPULM

    • elior1 says:
      July 16, 2018 at 3:20 pm

      why his tactics emberssing? what the flaw in this battle tactic?

      • arknoir says:
        July 19, 2018 at 7:52 am

        In short, he has an overwhelming advantage with his eco friendly mobile with magic at&t connection and he came up with the advantageous formation and counter to its weakness and his mobs still took a pasting because his micromanagement sucks because he is in magical world with magical RTS hero characters who can curb stomp mobs and his new little sister thingy didn’t tell him. B-u-u-t wait, He did counter with his daughter hero cos he super duper with the tactics and then it turned into a generic RTS hero versus hero battle with fire emblem weapon triangle rules.

        http://tanukibridge.com/2015/05/20/fire-emblem-if-is-changing-up-the-weapon-triangle/

        FFS, He smirks about cheating, googled this crap and it shouldn’t have came to that climax if papachild had relied on archers. Trust me I know, I play total war!

  • dP says:
    July 16, 2018 at 7:36 pm

    Or, for those who watched the episode:

    “I wonder if he’ll realize my phalanx can’t maneuver easily and is vulnerable to a flank attack by his chariots?”

    “Yes, he’s doing that. Look, your new girl friend is getting scared, as she might from a chariot assault.”

    “Aha, but this was part of our plan all along. We’ve got our medium cavalry concealed and will fall upon the chariots from behind.”

    “All this mass fighting is kind of boring, so let’s forget about the plan. Let’s cut to a duel between chariot dude and our cavalry commander.”

  • The Phantom says:
    July 20, 2018 at 8:54 pm

    “Everyone leaves to take a bath” Lol this happened indeed, 100% ridiculous.