天下制覇

BECAUSE IT'S SUMMER!

Impressions:

Shortish edition this week (and next). I could've pretty easily gotten to the end of the chapter (no dungeon), but I figure we want to see every possible permutation of the bathing suit scenes upcoming to give this game some slight worth at least in the T&A department. Normally, you just get the one, so I've got a lot of save-reloading to do. What a fantastic plan too, to hide half a dozen CGs in an otherwise completely linear game all in a single chapter next to a random all important CG of Ena sitting on your bed, and Mashiro getting groped. Also, this took a while yet produced little text because holy sweet tapdancing mother of Ol' Dirty Bastard did they not shut the hell up about how it was summer and that meant time for relaxing. A couple of the scenes I glossed over had close to 10 minutes of just droning through insipid, boring, repetitive text.

I feel like I've also broken the dungeons at this point as the only things that even give me pause are things that fly, and even those are just because they're hard to hit and even harder to combo. Nearly everything else falls to "jump to dodge (in case they start by spitting a fireball), forward dash, air slash, basic ground combo." And unlike DS, you don't have enough variety of moves to actually be able to ad lib all kinds of combos on the spot, for situation, positioning, or just for variety's sake. Oh, and because everything moves slow as snot and is basically always one on one. Sigh. Poor DS. You deserved such a better spiritual sequel than this.

Our Story Thus Far:

Apparently it's been some time and now it's summer. I'm not sure what season it was before. It's the end of the term and start of summer vacation. Sidekick is fired up for summer adventures. His girlfriend is not amused. The harem et all is a little worried about us spacing off and decides we must be burned out. Blondie and Red fight over leadership, hair, and chest size again. The rest of the harem is happy where they are. For day one of sidequesting, some random girl asks us to get her a racy bathing suit, but not too racy. Some random guy gives us a bikini. Uh, okay. That was… terrible.

We hang out with the clown and give her a… thing that's apparently supposed to be some kind of knife to level her immediately from Like 3 to 4. When we hang out, she wants to hug us, saying she needs energy and it only works if it's from us. Then she has a better idea and wants us to hug her. How is something this insipid a goddamned scene? Later, Ena greets us telepathically. Guess she's not hiding it anymore. We blather about summer vacation and it being hot and how drinks are cold and ACs are also cold for entirely too long. She sidles up and angles for sexy times. We cockblock her. In the evening, Erika calls and we chat about nothing with her for a while.

Eventually, we hang up and let an annoyed Ena in. She makes herself at home in the room. We talk about how everything's totally settled down now with Evol dealt with. We tell her she should be proud of what she did and since it's summer vacation, try to get in a better mood. She wants to go to the beach because she's a BIG GIRL now. We disagree, despite her bra sticking out. Eventually, she leaves. The next morning, Mashiro's snuck into bed, so of course we sleep grope her.

Kanae and Tsubomi break into our room with one of her new inventions and Kanae smacks us when we keep groping Mashiro. At breakfast, the harem discusses what to do with summer vacation. Everyone's got their own stuff they want to do; Mashiro shop, Tsubomi rebuild the stuff Evol broke, etc. We pick food off Mashiro's face, so Hikaru smears food on her own. We ignore her. Kanae says she should dump it in her cleavage. Now we're talking. Afterwards, we run into Sidekick who's pissed off at us for planning to waste our vacation practicing. He'll show us how to unwind and crap, and brags about getting to see his girlfriend in her new skimpy bikini. We're not allowed to tell his girlfriend he told us though. She overhears him and smacks him before dragging him away. We remain curious about her in a microbikini.

Tsubomi ambushes us and buys us a drink. We talk about how peaceful it is with Evol gone for about the fifth time in as many minutes. Next day of sidequesting, we hang out with Mashiro since she's the only one left on Like level 3 to get her halfway to 4. Afterward, we run into Sketchy Principal and Sketchy Scientist talking about something. They talk about work and blowing off stress. She says she prefers young boys. Super sketchy. Eventually she notices us loitering around. It takes us like, 5 more lines before we remember that she's a scientist. She formally introduces herself as Shiori, rubs her tits in our face, and then wanders off. Sketchy Principal warns us to stay clear of her because she's a 'meat eater.' Yeah, I bet. He also tells us how strong Whose-His-Face was and how he could've been top in Aegis if he hadn't gone power mad. We agree for some reason. Because he had… somewhat stronger magical powers except not really? And was crazy and power mad? I don't follow the logic here. Then says not to sweat it and enjoy summer vacation.

Sidekick is waiting for us back at the dorm. Apparently his girl is now cockblocking him for him running his mouth earlier. He gives us a map to a private beach for us to enjoy. He was going to take Rin there too, but she's nixed that, so we HAVE TO take the harem there and ogle them. Rin walks in and we both lie about what we were talking about. Next day of sidequest, Ena and Sidekick are both off hiding. And in Sidekick's case, by hiding, I mean in the school hallway, where the linebreaker apparently… broke. 'Finding' him gives us enough musical note thingies for another combo gem.

Mashiro doesn't want to hang out, so we go murder some wildlife with Hikaru in hopes of finding Ena/filling her Libidometer. We don't succeed at either. Repeat the next day, except we manage to find her in the middle of where the area designer went home early. We're still one heart away from the next level/expanding our edge of the Engage Board though. Before sidequesting the next day, we talk to Mashiro about food and eating disgusting purple bubbling things. She's a fan. We're too big a pussy to call her dumb and end up drinking something disgusting and either diarrheaing or vomiting it up immediately. Despite this, we hang out with her in the afternoon to bring her Like to level 4. She repeatedly says she loves us for… I think chasing away some cicadas, maybe? I had the volume down. Some kind of flying black bug at any rate. The next day, we murder more wildlife in a slightly lower level area for little to no reward. That was a massive waste of time. I don't know what's with that middle area. It's just… terrible in every way.

Back to the higher level again to murder more wildlife, especially those obnoxious lightning birds. Next day, Hikaru stops us on the side of the road to sew up our hem or something, then invites herself to our room later to fix it more thoroughly. Just to mix things up, I hang out with Mashiro again (Like Lv 4.33). Last day of sidequesting, we go murder more wildlife and FINALLY max out Hikaru's Libidometer. We also glare at some high level elk through a locked door and wish we could be fighting them instead. I see you elk. I will destroy you. Mark my words. Your heads will belong to me.