天下制覇

  

I don’t think “My body is made of swords” is supposed to be literal.

Impressions:

Well, that was disappointing. Our standard first half of pissing around followed by beating up a bunch of bad CGI skeletons, and let me tell you, recessing the head of a skeleton is not the creepy horror they seem to think it is. Then when it finally comes down to Rider vs Saber ‘for real,’ B immediately stabs A, who was actually C, because B was already dead and apparently just hanging out, slightly embedded in a wall, waiting for X and Y to stop by so she can untwist a broken neck before dissolving into sparklies gravel. How utterly and completely anticlimactic across the board.

So if you’re keeping score at home, it was around seventeen minutes of sitting on their asses and chatting, a third of which was spent explaining that the giant eye in the air shooting lightning around the school was evil (not for the lightning, mind), three minutes of hitting skeletons with brooms, and the remaining time spent on dreams of having an arm made out of swords. God help us when it comes to the dolphin metaphors for sex.