天下制覇

Akagi, eat your heart out.

Impressions:

I remember this chapter. It was one short little one shot deal about how Watanuki had no clue how to play Mah Jong. Somehow, it expanded to become an invitation for the entire cast to show up and comment on Watanuki’s cluelessness. It wasn’t that bad and some parts were actually enjoyable. I do like our little Typhoid Mary Himawari, and the Rain Spirit is good for physical violence, which I always appreciate. YES YES, AND THE VESTAL SPIRIT IS CUTE TOO. Come on though… how painfully shoehorned in do they have to be? Everybody suddenly has an appointment at Doumeki’s that just can’t wait. They all just randomly show up and then trot right off again.

I suppose it doesn’t help that I don’t really like Mah Jong that much. It’s essentially what Rummy would be if you just didn’t know when to stop adding melds and extra rules. Now Bridge, that’s a manly man’s game. I tried to teach myself the Kaplan-Scheinwold bidding convention once, but was hampered by my lack of mastery of the SAYC system. Ha HA! Card nerd! 

Anyway, just a fluff episode. 20 minutes of making fun of Watanuki with lots and lots and lots and LOTS of Mah Jong terminology thrown around. We’re back to the ‘plot,’ or what passes for one in xxxHOLiC next week as Watanuki is forced to fetch pure water for Yuuko. I’m interested in seeing what they do with it, since in the manga, it’s the water that Yuuko then sends on to the TRC world at the end of the Tokyo Babylon arc. Maybe she just wants water. There’s also Himawari’s pinky promise. Watanuki didn’t need that finger anyw— oops… spoilers.

What nice weather it is, everybody says… in that case… then why are they here at Doumeki’s playing Mah Jong!? Calm down, Watanuki. Yuuko looks up at the sakura tree with the ghost. It watches them as they shuffle the tiles. And now, the game starts!

TENKO! She wins on the first draw. She thanks Akari, Tetsua, etc. Mokona wins the next round. Yuuko takes the following. Mokona the next. Doumeki and Watanuki are getting crushed. Doumeki takes one and pulls himself slightly less negative. Watanuki is crushed.

At the end of that little exchange, Watanuki says that he has no idea how to play. Well, there’s no helping it… Mokona spits out a pile of Mah Jong books and manga onto him. Mah Jong’s not just a game, but a journey into the dark pits of the human soul says Yuuko. She and Doumeki tease him a bit more without telling him the rules and go back to playing. Watanuki tries to flip through the books and figure things out. He finds one book… but no.

Mokona starts the next round as Watanuki slowly figures things out. I AM NOT GOING TO FREAKIN’ EXPLAIN MAH JONG TO YOU. He basically reads out the rules and all the tile identification and whatnot. Finally, he thinks that he’s ready to play now that he knows the rules.

He eyes the rest, carefully plotting his moves. Yuuko chews him out for taking too long. He draws and gets something bad… Doumeki wins the round. He’s still negative… but Watanuki is far more negative and in tears.

Isn’t Mah Jong interesting? Yuuko asks. The three of them team up to bully Watanuki a little more and he starts running around in a circle.

Watanuki goes back to the books to help him play. He’s taking so long that the rest start bullying him. He spazzes out again, but then Himawari shows up. He immediately flips into happy mode, but she’s just here to see Doumeki. Watanuki imagines her and Doumeki getting all friendly.

Himawari brought a cake as a gift. They should all eat it together. Watanuki is thrilled to eat a cake made by Himawari… of course not you halfwit. A friend made it. Himawari’s cake would probably give you cancer anyw— oops… spoilers.

Watanuki returns to studying. Himawari looks over his shoulder, making him nervous and blush. She calls him amazing for his simple and inept play. The distraction makes him discard a vital tile, letting all three declare victory at once, crushing him. YOU DID IT, WATANUKI! Says Himawari.

She leaves, Watanuki yells goodbye. ETC

BACK TO THE GAME

SLIGHTLY LESS INTERESTING THAN YOU MIGHT THINK. Mokona spazzes out while Doumeki and Yuuko wonder what Mokona’s crazy plan is. They can’t read her… mostly because she’s playing with a butterfly. The game continues, and they realize the plan at the last second when Watanuki plays right into Mokona’s hands.

Yuuko chews out Watanuki as he descends even further into the negative. Well then… HOW ABOUT THIS! Watanuki slams down a tile… giving Mokona a win. Watanuki… what a putz. Everybody’s in the positive except for him.

So, what was the point of this, Watanuki asks Yuuko. Mah Jong is very important spiritually… but that’s all the explanation he gets.

BACK TO THE GAME.

Watanuki is playing for realz. FOR SERIOUSNESS. He’s just about got a winning hand… he thinks. Yuuko declares Riichi, as does Mokona. Doumeki throws his Riichi in as well. Watanuki realizes that he’s in a huge pinch. Yuuko prods him into action, He draws and… the Rain Spirit is standing behind him. She tries to push him out of the way to play for him. Watanuki pushes her away and goes to declare Riichi… but she clubs him with her umbrella. She and Yuuko talk over Watanuki’s head for a moment.

He looks confused and plays a tile… awww… aren’t they beautiful says the Vestal Spirit. She’s there too now. She calls out Watanuki’s hand in her innocence and the other three realize that they could actually be in trouble. The Rain Spirit chastises her, so she apologizes. All three realize that they’re very likely screwed for declaring Riichi.

Watanuki draws, but has to discard. Yuuko draws, but the play continues. All three still think they’re screwed. Watanuki draws again, but the evil thoughts of the others pound down on him. The Vestal Spirit faints.

Watanuki draws, and looks at his tile.

He wins! Well… yes, but he could have/should have done so much better. The Rain Spirit explains how he screwed up.

Watanuki wins! He’s the king of the negative scores! The Vestal Spirit apologizes, but Watanuki was hopeless to begin with. Yuuko tells Watanuki that the punishment phase is upon them. The loser will be stripping.

The sakura ghost suddenly puts her hand on Watanuki’s shoulder and then dissolves into petals. She flies upwards and off.

Yuuko explains that Mah Jong used to be played to help spirits on their way. That’s what this was all about. She was smiling as she went too. Kohane would be happy.

Night falls. They want food. Watanuki lost, so he’s getting the food and drink. Fine, water for the winners. NEVER! YUUKO WANT BOOZE. Isn’t that her right? The Vestal Spirit follows along… which means that the Rain Spirit will join him too. Mokona also hops along.

Yuuko jumps Doumeki’s bones the moment the others are gone. Or just says that she’ll have some of his grandfather’s wine as payment for helping out. Yuuko toasts the sakura tree.

Preview:

Hot summer days, the return of the cat girl, and Watanuki/Doumeki are forced to haul water.