天下制覇

No pun is a good pun.

Impressions:

Well, I got tired of waiting for a real raw, so enjoy NicoNico quality caps. Delicious 512×288. Resolution of champions. Who needs anything more than that?

The crazy guy’s name was Saruwatari? Are you kidding me? That’s almost as bad as Osana Najimi. Ugh. That pun was just… UGH. There was also an especially large number of "ain’t family great" speeches. Kyouka gave her usual one, then Hyouka had a couple short ones, and then Yuka gave one. WE GET IT. Please just be zany and madcap. Preferably not with Ginka or Teika in a dress. I think I’m okay with Ouka in drag… the other two just creep me out though.

I guess the only real thing of note was Gekka’s crazy human form. She’s like some Buddhist goddess. Does Buddhism even have goddesses? Anyway, she blips them all back to the house at the end after they completely forgot about her back in the exploding falling castle. Good job, family. You really pulled through on half the mission objectives. I guess Hyouka’s past is supposed to be interesting or something too, but the melodrama here is a lead weight on the rest of the show. They’re not even doing anything new with it, just the same old "life used to be hard, but now that we have a family, it’s great!" Once an episode is more than enough, three times is… BLEH.

We got the Gekka ED on the main broadcast this week, which was I believe the first one on one of the alternate broadcasts, confirming my suspicions that they were just going to rotate them around.

KKN Gekka ED

The pissed off old screams about how he’s so much more than an ape… but then Gekka fries him. Yuka runs up to check on him and hears a strange voice. The man wakes up and Yuka apologizes. Now that he’s a little calmer, he’s surprised to see that she’s human.

OH HO! She’s perfect for him! He does a creepy dance like a monkey.

Kyouka is still watching through Yuka’s eyes and sees the weird monkey dance. A phone rings in the room.

The old man explains his situation, he hasn’t seen a human in ages. His memories are of lonliness and looking up at other humans, so he travelled around the world until he found the crazy floating castle.

There… and he starts coughing up blood all over the place. That was disgusting.

He started experimenting to create a human but he failed… failed everything. Everything came out apes! All he could make were bigger and bigger apes. He’s a human though! A human! Of course, now that he has her, he’ll surely be able to make his own family now. Gekka tries to attack, but he’s ready for her this time and smacks her away. Yuka screams out for Kyouka to save her as the old man swings his club.

Kyouka is hit with the recoil. Everybody checks to see if she’s okay, but Kyouka is pissed more than anything else. She’ll kill that crazy doctor before he can experiment on Yuka. Of course, it’ll take the family and they’re all in on it to save her. Even Pierre. Hyouka’s a little… uh… too into it. Big save the Yuka speech from everybody. Blah blah blah.

The beautiful Save Yuka and Gekka Plan will now start!

The professor’s wish will finally come true. He sends his rocket apes on attack to the hotel, but the family’s already there and waiting… in waitress outfits.

Kyouka seduces the monkies with promises of food, fun, entertainment, fireworks, and men in dresses. Poor poor Teika.

The apes are confused, but after one tries a chicken leg, Kyouka flashes her thigh at him and they go berserk on the food. Pierre’s trapped in the kitchen feeding the apes. Teika et all continue to act as the entertainment. Ginka is also a little too into it. Hyouka just watches from the sidelines. She perks Ouka up by reminding him it’s to save Yuka.

Now that they’re seduced, Kyouka tells them how much more fun they could have. The monkies are ecstatic. What they need is… one of the crystals that powers the castle. The monkies recognize it immediately.

In the professor’s lab, Yuka’s strapped down and yelling for her family. The monkies poke at her, but her screaming scares them and they leave. A voice says to not be afraid. It’s Hyouka, who destroys the restraints. The castle starts falling just then.

Kyouka reveals the whole of her plan. After seducing the monkies with food, she sent them to trash the engine room looking for the MAGIC crystal.

Hyouka and Yuka walk out into the hallway and see Hyouka’s handiwork. Tons of monkies lie slashed up. More monkies pass by. Hyouka warns them to not attack and prepares to attack, but… you know… MONKIES. Yuka begs Hyouka to not, so she puts her lightsaber away, picks up Yuka and dashes past all the monkies. As Hyouka runs, we get some really horribly boring Hyouka and Yuka bonding. YES YES LIFE WAS HARD BUT IT IS GOOD NOW WE GET IT PLEASE STOP I HATE THESE PARTS DAMMIT SHUT UP ABOUT HOW PRECIOUS YOUR CRAZY FAMILY IS AND GO BACK TO BEING CRAZY.

Finally, the two come to the professor’s bed. His name is Saruwatari. Groan. GROAN. Hyouka knows him from way back when and in fact, was one of the ones responsible for for Hyouka’s creation. Sort of like Hyouka’s grandfather… sort of. At least before Hyouka went berserk and destroyed the area.

Yuka’s shocked that that’s how Saruwatari’s life was ruined. Everything was taken from him then and he stopped being human… blood coughing, blerg. DESTINY! FATE! FAMILY! But it’s all over now.

Saruwatari’s monkies rush in and surround them. Hyouka gets ready to fight, but Yuka begs her to stop. Yuka thinks again to the monkies who were scared of her and yells that Saruwatari’s an idiot. Isn’t he surrounded by friends? Important people to him? He can’t see anybody. The monkies obviously, Yuka says. They have important feelings for him. They understood his loneliness, blah blah blah THIS IS THE THIRD LIFE IS HARD BY FAMILY IS GREAT SPEECH THIS EPISODE PLEASE STOP PLEASE STOP!

The monkies all share their feelings with smiles at Saruwatari and he realizes how happy he is that he has the monkies.

He thanks Yuka, not noticing the cracking roof. Hyouka thanks him, calling him father as the ceiling collapses on them.

Hyouka, as well as the ROCKET MONKIES fly out and down to their waiting family below.

Suddenly, a chunk of the castle slams into Hyouka and knocks Yuka into the air. Ouka remembers Kyouka saying how family goes beyond the limit and rushes to catch her. He dives… passing Yuka by entirely because Hyouka caught her 6 feet above the ground.

Yuka’s still happy to be home. Ginka’s still in a dress. Chika’s looking pretty slick in her polo shirt.

The apes have a new queen too, Pierre. Poor Pierre, well, at least she’s the queen of the apes now. Even if it’s just a puppet queen with Kyouka in true control. That’s how life goes. Too bad they can’t get off the island still because the airplane sunk.

Suddenly, a woman appears behind her, saying she’ll help them off, and wondering if they’ve forgotten about it. No way… it can’t be that she’s… and she flashes a fan, knocking them all out.

They all wake up wondering about the crazy… uh… whatever. Who cares, let’s not worry about it. Yuka and Hyouka head out together as Gekka pans for the camera.

Preview:

Family dining. PLEASE LET THERE BE NO MELODRAMA.