天下制覇

Nudity, elephants, and a jealous Horie Yui? Thank Zeus I’m not watching Inukami here. 

This one is pretty much straight from the manga and is totally a Chikage episode, with a healthy dose of excessive bathing. Seriously, don’t the Japanese know that it’s bad health to stew in your own juices? That’s how you get goblins poisoning the water supply and stealing your first born. All in all though, it’s a pretty sedate episode as Chikage isn’t exactly the most dynamic or entertaining of characters. And I’ll be damned if I ever say that an episode with only 3 seconds of Ayane and Machi is a good thing.

To satisfy Chikage’s curiosity about men and other things on the island, Chikage has invited Ikuto to her personal mansion. Never mind that the rest of the village lives in huts, Chikage has a mansion and a servant elephant, and near as I can tell, performs absolutely no useful function. Therefore, using my flawless detective reasoning, I conclude that the mansion is actually a brothel and that she’s in charge of mediating the… ‘release’ of the other women as they need it. This is the only logical conclusion.

At any rate, she immediately greets doofus with a cosplay montage, starting with nothing but an apron and ending with a maid outfit, but also stealing Ayane and Machi’s clothes along the way. Apparently she got the ideas that they’d be high fashion for Ikuto because of various magazines of… shall we say… dubious culture which have floated ashore.

Chikage is the trash digger of the island, and likes to pick up debris for study, and Ikuto is not only the epitome of useless debris, but he can identify his own kind. He teaches Chikage and Suzu about all the useless crap she’s collected and clues them in to the wonders of what her crap could do if she ever managed to scrounge up electricity while Suzu attempts to use Tonkatsu as a socket.

Having found out that her life’s work is a bunch of garbage, Chikage moves on to the more mobile form of debris and demands that Ikuto and Suzu stay for dinner and wins them over with the promise of mamedaifuku. She really hasn’t thought this plan through as she has no idea how to make the food she promised 

Ikuto is meanwhile fantasizing about the foods he could have while ignoring the prime cut of drooling white meat sitting three feet away. She ends up serving what is supposed to be a hamburger and ramen, as well as a giant still living octopus dumpling. I’ll spare you the details, but it ends in Suzu chasing it and the pig getting tentacle raped.

Yes, you heard me. The pig.

Tentacle raped.

I should really stop here, as the show has nowhere to go but down from this point.

Ikuto finally gets his curry rice and is thrilled, while Suzu gets her mame daifuku.

And the pig is still being tentacle raped by the dumpling.

Still.

Suzu and Ikuto get ready to leave, until Chikage goes over and grabs the dumpling, and it spews a viscous fluid all over Ikuto and Suzu. Maybe it’s ink, maybe it’s not. I’m not telling.

They all go to take a bath, and Ikuto does his Old Faithful routine and has to be ministered to by the elephant while Suzu flashes her chest at Chikage inspiring a groping scene in the name of science.

Suzu escapes Chikage and sends Ikuto into the bath. Chikage is lurking in the bushes, fully dressed as a ninja now for some reason. She slips into the bath and moves in for a closer look. Panako, the elephant, eventually joins him and starts servicing him. Seriously… he has an entire island full of women trying to seduce him, and he chooses to bath with an elephant.

Chikage continues her scuba exhibition and tries to move in closer, only to become enthralled with Ikuto’s naked body before getting sat on by the elephant and eventually floats to the service.

Ikuto has finally escaped the horrors of BATHING WITH A FEMALE and chats with Suzu as the two go to sleep. Suzu is ticked at him because he bathed with a girl after telling her that guys and girls don’t bath together, which of course was the pink, effeminate elephant. Good call there doofus. At least he wasn’t bathing with the pig on his lap this time.