Full Metal Panic IV #02 — The Adventures of Private Strawman

April 20th, 2018

 

I have a vague memory of a time when Tessa's character wasn't a complete joke.

Impressions:

I suppose this is an improvement over last week's parade of talking heads, but I'm not sure that it's actually promising for the future. First off, because there's still no shortage of utterly and completely wasted space. The first couple minutes were almost comical in that regard and I was pretty damn close to throwing up my hands in disgust after we left a minute and a half of discussing what solar flares are and moved on to a minute and a half of reviewing the logistics of evacuation. We would then return to the talking heads dramatically (but not really) declaring how great they are and immediately putting Random Dude in his place. I am a big, serious girl who you need to take seriously! I am! I am! Way to be a contributing part of the episode, Tessa.

But there was 'excitement' this week, or to be more accurate, there was horrible… horrible CGI trying to pass off as excitement. I think they're trying to emulate Gonzo's terrible ancient CGI from way back in the day, but god only knows why. That is what concerns me for the future, that this was supposed to be their awesome balls to the wall action sequence after last week's zero budget talking head affair, and that's the best that they could come up with; ugly CGI cars bouncing around, stormtrooper-like accuracy while hordes of dudes are standing in firing lines, and stills of people literally exploding from being shot.

 

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