Borzoi Cosplay Convention and Autumn Season Preview

September 28th, 2017

Let the rains commence.

As usual, if something's sufficiently sequeled up (exact definition depends on notability and how much I despise its existence, Wake Up Girls), I'm just going to assume that you're either already following it or not and don't need me to make any pithy remark about it. This also helps in removing like three idol shows, yet still leaves… Well, we'll get to that. I'm also snubbing Yuuki Yuuna's 'sequel' because it's unclear if a single episode is going to be new content, but most signs thus far point to no, or at best, maybe seven episodes in after they finish cutting up the spinoff prequel movie for TV format.

Let's get this show on the road.

Monday

UQ Holder!
http://uqholder.jp/
Studio: JC Staff
Genre: Boobs
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 2nd

Show Premise: 
Spinoff of Negima. 70 years later, Touta, Negi's grandson, is turned into a vampire and inducted into a cabal of immortals in a three-way war over the fate of his grandfather.

Random Thoughts:
This had an OVA a couple weeks back. It started with girls in the bath, went into a 15 minute flashback featuring EXTREME half-naked CGI hula hooping, and by EXTREME, I mean there were a dozen hovering while he actually hula hooped, and ended back in the bath. So I guess that makes it basically a completely modernized Negima. I was never a particularly big fan of the franchise to begin with, and I think the highlight of its anime adaptations thus far was that time when Shaft just said "screw it" and wandered off into nonsense after a half-hearted overture of actual adaptation. But I guess it's been in hibernation for half a decade, so it's time to dust off this corpse and have another go. Can't wait for… more girls in the bath. Again. Because there ain't enough of that these days.

Preseason Swing Rating: 
 
There's likely butts too.

Osomatsu
http://osomatsusan.com/
Studio: Pierrot
Genre: Comedy
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 2nd

Show Premise: 
Sequel. The continuing wacky adventures of Osomatsu and his five sextuplet brothers.

Random Thoughts:
Nothing's changed in studio or staff. I only made it three episodes of the first go at this. The first episode made an attempt at parody, in that traditional Japanese way of announcing various tropes in a genre, and then simply doing those tropes, but it immediately declined after that to just yelling out that the situation they had set up was absurd and calling it a day. It was perhaps a little more absurdist than a lot of the non-comedies that are labeled as comedies that Japan keeps shoveling out, but it struck me more like one of the silly little Flash 2-minute shorts that got stretched out to twenty minutes, putting the lack of substance on full display.  

Preseason Swing Rating: 

The king is indifferent.

Recovery of an MMO Junkie
http://netoju.com/
Studio: Signal.MD
Genre: 'Comedy'
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 9th

Show Premise: 
Middle-aged shut-in woman's plays an MMO, but her avatar is male! That's it. That's the entire thing.

Random Thoughts:
The promo promised as much humor as the premise with the production to match. I didn't make it far browsing through the source. It was dreadful. It did the usual MMO thing of over-explaining every single idiotic little trivial aspect of MMOs while the 'jokes' were things like "I made a male avatar, but I'm a female!" It took pages to set up and execute that bit of hilarity. I've said it before, but the thing that always gets me is how these people have clearly never played an MMO… or probably even any multiplayer game in their collective lives. There isn't a healer alive who doesn't despise their entire team, let alone one who's going to babysit a newbie because they saw someone randomly sucking. And there only seems to be one MMO that all of these stupid things are pretending to be, and it's always the most generic, stupidest thing possible. At least come up with some ounce of twist on the formula. Please? No. Okay then.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

A lot of anime producers must've been catfished.

Tuesday

Black Clover
http://bclover.jp/
Studio: Pierrot
Genre: Screaming
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 3rd

Show Premise: 
Asta wants to be the Wizard King, but he can't use magic. Then he discovers that he has the power of ANTI-MAGIC.

Random Thoughts:
This had an OVA about a year ago. It was the usual Jump faire, which is to say that the 'fights' consisted mostly of people standing still while CGI effects happened around them, and constant screaming. Everyone has some singular gimmick power that they spend forever and a day explaining to each other, the world is some corny caste system that makes no sense but singles out the protagonist for being a have-not until he becomes the ultimate-have with zero sense of irony, the protagonist channels the darkness within him, they're going to high school, and there are constant arbitrary tournaments that last for years. Yeah, Jump. I get that you have your thing. Just… keep it over there. And install some soundproofing. 

Preseason Swing Rating: 

I'm powered by bitter coffee.

Sengoku Night Blood
http://anime.senbura.jp/
Studio: Typhoon Graphics
Genre: Pretty Boys
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 3rd

Show Premise: 
Sengoku era warlords are vampires or werewolves. 

Random Thoughts:
This is based on a phone game where the player is a magical girl with magical blood who is doted on by the boys she collects through the traditional gacha gambling system. It's clearly going for that sweet spot of fans of the Sengoku era, and Twilight fans. I don't know how many of those exist. They're not my people. There's no sign of the magic girl, so I guess we're just going 100% pretty boys. The difference between the vampires and werewolves seems to be only the ears; one has pointed ears, the other has dog ears… plus the extra set of human ears on the sides of their heads. There are about five seconds of what could be mistaken for a fight scene in the promo, but it's mostly just pretty boys sitting around, gleaming with the sheen of a thin layer of canola oil. 

Preseason Swing Rating: 
 
Night of the living bread.

Zodiac War
http://12taisen.com/
Studio: Graphinica
Genre: Action
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 3rd

Show Premise: 
Every 12 years, 12 zodiac-themed zodiac people have a zodiac tournament. 

Random Thoughts:
This has as much to do with the zodiac as much to do with the zodiac as Symphogear does to cogs, but I guess calling it "War" would've been too stupid even for Japan. It is kind of an impressive display of how little effort they're putting into things these days. Not even advertising some kind of character arc, story, or even really a gimmick. Nothing more than "a fighting tournament, and uh, I guess maybe we'll say there's a theme to it? Kind of?" This is being animated by the same studio that did Chain Chronicle, so maybe the production will be decent, but the promos consist of almost nothing but stills, so I'm not holding my breath here.

Preseason Swing Rating: 
 
*tromp* *tromp* *tromp* 

Evil or Live
http://evilorlive.jp/
Studio: Emon
Genre: Drama
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 10th

Show Premise: 
Hibiki uses his phone and the internet too much, so he gets put into a school for curing internet addiction through torture.

Random Thoughts:
Conversion therapy, but for using the internet too much. Not crippling addiction. Just too much texting. Good thing that this is another Emon/Chinese-produced show being made for a Japanese audience, or someone might accidentally pay attention. Not that I think there was ever any danger of this making any kind of social commentary. Nah, of course not. It'll just be your standard high school torture-porn drama with a particularly dumb starting point. The promo is about half CGI blueprints, half the standard cliches of bullying and sexual harassment by sadistic gym teachers. At least you can't say Emon is sticking to just being terrible in one genre. They've got depth.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Has even one of these seen even marginal success?

Wednesday

Tales of Konohana
http://konohanatei.jp/
Studio: Lerche
Genre: Idiocy
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 4th

Show Premise: 
Konohana is an inn in a resort town on the border with the world of spirits, staffed by fox girls.

Random Thoughts:
There are girls. They exist and do their best. They take baths. They have fox ears and tails. What a goddamned enthralling twist on the formula. It's like six pages into the source before one is naked and they're talking about the size of her breasts. Every now and then, characters make stupid faces or yell at/hit someone for doing something, so I guess it's supposed to be a comedy, but hell if I could tell you what the jokes were supposed to be. Maybe that the character writing is so awful that you're supposed to take pity on the author? That would explain quite a bit about a lot of Japanese media. The promo followed the same formula. Here's some girls. They have fox ears. Okay, that's enough content for the month. Great job everyone.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

*hiiiiiissssssss*

URAHARA
http://urahara.party/
Studio: EMT^2
Genre: Advertisement Run Amok
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 4th

Show Premise: 
Girls fight aliens trying to steal Japanese culture.

Random Thoughts:
It's hard to explain the source material here. It's an incredibly half-assed pseud-comic collab between Crunchyroll and a store in Japan for advertising… the store. Where the characters work. Basically, someone in Japan draws a random picture of one or more of the girls, and then someone at Crunchyroll writes a generic filler paragraph. And now it's animated. May as well be completely original, I guess. Hard to know what to make of the promo as well. Not trying to be funny. Not trying to sell itself on action. Some girls and absurdly large blowdriers trying to pass as weapons? One notable thing is that they dragged the original Komugi's director back from the dead to handle it, but the head writer is one of the most soulless, awful ones out there; as prolific as she is boring. 

Preseason Swing Rating: 
 
Have they considered just letting the aliens have it?

TsukiPro
http://tsukipro-anime.com/
Studio: AZ Creative
Genre: Advertising
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 4th

Show Premise: 
TsukiPro is a boy band label. There are boys. They're in bands. Buy our CDs.

Random Thoughts:
I enjoy how it's not enough that there's the token bad boy in the boy band, but now we have the token bad boy band made up of nothing but different flavors of bad boys. And also the good boy boy band where everyone dresses in white. And apparently the theme of one of the boy bands is that they play instruments. My god. Enough brain cells consumed. Proceeding.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Heavy metal slug.

My Girlfriend is a Virgin Who Tries Too Hard To Be a Slut
http://majimesugiru-anime.jp/
Studio: Diomedea
Genre: Comedy
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 11th

Show Premise: 
Haruka's girlfriend is socially inept and blithely suggests doing sexual things with him.

Random Thoughts:
Shockingly, despite the overly long title explaining the entire premise, this is a manga adaptation instead of a light novel. It's also entirely harem stupidity and wastes no time in pans up and down all the girls on display, from underskirt to impossibly bouncing breasts. The gimmick is that it's a bunch of girls who are constantly trying to paw at the hapless male's junk while he screams and panics about how that's not socially acceptable, embarrassing, and/or teenage boys aren't actually interested in sex at all. I couldn't tell you how that's any different from the hundred thousand of other high school harem shows. That there's not some fantasy thematic gimmick to the harem? Is the lack of a gimmick a gimmick? If so, there's merely a half a hundred thousand high school harems it's just like then. The height of the comedy appears to be that the titular character raises her skirt and exposes her panties. COMEDY.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

That is not enough banana for seven girls.

Thursday

Just Because!
http://justbecause.jp/
Studio: PINE JAM
Genre: Drama
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 5th

Show Premise: 
High school kids try to fulfill their regrets before they graduate.

Random Thoughts:
Speaking of banal… The promo is almost entirely teenagers standing in the wind, teenagers running, teenagers looking constipated, and unusually bright scenery. Sometimes, they combine those things, especially the scenery. Because framing everything in blinding light is artistic. It's completely original, unless you count wanting in on some of that same crap that is PA Work's bread and butter, and a bunch of shots of melodramatic teenagers milking it for all its worth are all I have to go on. I'm pretty confortable in saying that I'm not going to be a fan.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

One cybertortoise.

Kings Game
http://kingsgame-anime.com/
Studio: Seven
Genre: Drama
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 5th

Show Premise: 
Students suddenly begin receiving orders from an unknown source. Failure to obey them results in death.

Random Thoughts:
Lest anybody think too highly of this, every other order is "X has to have sex," sometimes specifying who specifically with so the order after it can be "Y gets to throw a temper tantrum about it and kill X or X's partner." When that fails, it's just "Kill someone." So like Saw, if you thought it needed more melodramatic teenagers, fewer deathtraps, and more magic. Or I suppose Dangan Ronpa for the less Western cultured, without a flair for gimmicky characters, any kind of mystery, but with… more magic. Basically, removing any aspects of mystery or horror, and upping the teenage melodrama to eleven. The promos consist solely of screaming and teenagers staring in wide-eyed horror. About par for the course. Probably too much to hope that they change things up from the source manga to make it in any way unpredictible.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Because teenagers never have sex. And can't stand it when other teenagers do.

Dynamic Chord
http://www.tbs.co.jp/anime/DC/
Studio: Pierrot
Genre: Advertising
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 5th

Show Premise: 
Dynamic Chord is a boy band label. There are boys. They're in bands. Buy our CDs.

Random Thoughts:
How are there two of these? Oh wait, there are THREE. I'll get to that one later. They're goddamned identical. Both are about four boy bands under the same label, and advertise their premise as "following the lives of the boy bands in this label." This one may have the edge over TsukiPro (and the THIRD one) because one of the boy bands is an actual band that already exists, and because one of the fake bands is named Apple Polisher. And the promo image is the lead boy with his mouth wide open and tongue hanging out. I'm not joking. You don't even need to crop that to make it look like the cover of gay porn.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Formerly known as Bulb Fondler.

Inuyashiki
http://www.inuyashiki-project.com/
Studio: MAPPA
Genre: Drama
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 12th

Show Premise: 
Inuyashiki is an old man with a terminal disease, but then he's struck by an alien explosion and wakes up with a cybernetic body. He decides to use it for good.

Random Thoughts:
I wouldn't expect much action out of this show despite the lead character being Cyborg Superman. For one, it's noitaminA's offering for the season. For another, it's more of a faux morality play set against a sociopath who also gets turned into actual Cyborg Superman and just goes around killing people for funsies. Not the most creative tale in the world, but I'm sure if it's stretched out for three months, it'll be extra, extra interesting. And of course, when one side is helping little old ladies cross the street, and the other side goes straight to mass murder, you're not going to get much mileage out of the ol' Uncle Ben credo. The promos don't even try to intrigue with the murder spree side of things either. Just CGI cybernetics while standing around, and… standing around. In the sunset. For drama!  

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. But we won't.

Friday

Girls Last Tour
http://girls-last-tour.com/
Studio: WHITE FOX
Genre: Drama
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 6th

Show Premise: 
Two girls travel the world after the apocalypse.

Random Thoughts:
Perusing impressions of the source manga is a little fascinating. How threadbare does something have to be to cause even the people who happily consume "girls doing nothing" things to remark that something is light on characters and plot? Perhaps it goes all the way out the other end and becomes just kind of an atmospheric bit of nothing; simple white noise set to a few poorly drawn pictures of girls for the audience to superimpose whatever the hell they want on it. Or it's just one of a thousand other things about girls doing nothing and just happens to be even nothinger than usual. The promos sure lean that way! 

Preseason Swing Rating: 

And on your left, more rocks.

Kino's Journey
http://www.kinonotabi-anime.com/
Studio: Lerche
Genre: Adventure
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 6th

Show Premise: 
Kino and her sentient motorcycle travel to strange, gimmicky lands.

Random Thoughts:
This had an adaptation in the long long ago. It's definitely a throwback though; truly episodic, with (nearly) each episode being finding some new unique 'land' with some kind of crazy-ass cultural quirk. Sometimes it's that they're all robots. Sometimes they're just disturbingly into husbandry. I remember watching it, but hell if I could tell you almost anything about it. I don't think I minded it from what I remember, but the character of Kino herself is pretty damn close to a complete blank slate, so while it may present some interesting 'alien culture' concepts the same way something like Star Trek does, there's precious little substance beyond that. Some episodes did have a character story to anchor things. Some episodes just kind of had a gimmick very, very slowly explained over the course of twenty minutes. That's still probably a dozen more gimmicks than many Japanese shows manage at all. Unfortunately, the staff here is kind of awful, and Lerche isn't exactly top tier as far as studios go. The promos also do little to allay fears, consisting of nothing but scenery porn and Kino eating cake. Feast upon the wonder of… what every show has become these days.

Preseason Swing Rating: 
   
Land of Bleeding Ice Cream Hydras.

Dies Irae
http://diesirae-anime.com/
Studio: ACGT
Genre: Action
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 6th

Show Premise: 
Ren just wants to be a normal high school boy, but is forced to fight time traveling Nazi wizards.

Random Thoughts:
This comes to us thanks to Japanese Kickstarter and one of those visual novels of the "fourteen sick" genre where everyone has progressively more magical powers that are mainly limited by the amount of purple prose in that particular scene. Both of those things turn my stomach a bit. So let's instead wow ourselves with the stunning promotional video, consisting of shots of scenery, close-ups of eyes, close-ups of chins, and close-ups of people walking around. Thrilling. That certainly captures my imagination. Putting that crowdfunding money to exactly the use that one would expect. They've already got the paycheck, might as well just overlay the VN's audio track and call it a day. Adaptation!

Preseason Swing Rating: 
 
Still no match for the power of Gun-Haver.

Garo – Vanishing Line
http://vanishing-line.jp/
Studio: MAPPA
Genre: Action
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 6th

Show Premise: 
Sword and Sophie search for the meaning behind El Dorado. Also, fight monsters.

Random Thoughts:
As usual, this has no real connection to other Garo things, just a few thematic elements, like "has monsters" and "protagonist transforms into CGI." This one takes place in a modern era and seems to be fighting zombies whilst on motorcycle, although there's also a not-Fujiko in a bikini beating up people, so it already has more action and more draw than pretty much anything else this season. MAPPA's pretty hit or miss, but can usually be counted on for at least a few episodes. They don't appear to be throwing the A Team at this one, although the voice cast list reads like a who's who of who was popular ten years ago, which is a little bizarre. …Yes, that's about all the insight I can come up with here. 

Preseason Swing Rating: 
 
It's only a matter of time until a pirate Garo, isn't it?

RoboMasters
http://anime.robomasters.com/
Studio: Dandelion/Gonzo
Genre: Drama
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 13th

Show Premise: 
Students play BattleBots.

Random Thoughts:
Okay, it's not really BattleBots. It's more like a robot laser tag MOBA. And it's a real thing. This show is an advertisement for RoboMasters. And Christ, does it need it because it is the most boring goddamned thing imaginable, and that was the year where they apparently had magic squares that gave the robots fake powers for successfully completing a game of tic-tac-toe during a round. If you thought watching a MOBA was boring and impenetrable, then this sets out to prove that your imagination needs work. It's also one of those Chinese/Japanese collabs, and the track record for those is still desperately hoping to regress to the mean… someday. At absolute best, bad drama and bad CGI faux MOBA. At worst, probably the same thing.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Quit jungling. Push mid.

Saturday

Code:Realize
http://coderealize-anime.com/
Studio: MSC
Genre: Drama
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 7th

Show Premise: 
Every living thing that touches Cardia's skin melts, so she's locked away. Lupin rescues her from her prison and the two set out on a journey to find her father and a cure.

Random Thoughts:
Before anybody gets any hopes up about steampunk super powered heist adventures, this comes from one of those girly romances, complete with an entire harem of historical pretty boys to choose from. The promos are more or less just "Look! Pretty boys!" Hell, Lupin stands in the moonlight while sparkles dance all around him, gazing with a sultry look right at the camera. The steampunk, super powers, and adventure are clearly not why this is being made, and I wouldn't expect to find much of any of those here.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Have you tried leeches?

Idolmaster – Side:M
http://imas-sidem.com/
Studio: A-1 Pictures
Genre: Advertising
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 7th

Show Premise: 
Side:M is a boy band label. There are boys. They're in bands. Buy our CDs.

Random Thoughts:
How are there… Wait, I already did that bit. This would be the third one, and since it's the penis version of Cinderella Girls (which also has another sequel this season that I'm pretending doesn't exist) as far as Idolmaster associated cellphone games go, that means it's the extra big budget one. There are six groups, and each group has multiple gimmicks. My favorite is the group of former teachers dressed like 70s aliens. Another 'group' are twins who play soccer and are dressed to sell Fanta. What the hell even is the Japanese pop scene? Avaunt.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Worst or best boy band ever.

Two Car
http://twocartv.jp/
Studio: SILVER LINK
Genre: Drama
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 7th

Show Premise: 
Two girls participate in sidecar racing.

Random Thoughts:
The gimmick here is supposedly that all the pairs are opposites of each other… and then you get to identical twins with copy/pasted character descriptions. And by opposite, it's things like "takes homework and sidecar racing very seriously" versus "takes work and sidecar racing very seriously." Boy, do opposites ever attract. You can already see the sparks flying. Pick whichever poison pill you want; girls with motorcycles or girls in a club. This appears to be the boring fusion of both and the promos promise… girls and motorcycles, again. For like the seventh time in the past two years and second time this season. I guess at least there are winners and losers in this case, but no doubt everyone will hug and do their very best. Still can't say that I understand why the former has suddenly become a thing. I'm guessing motorcycle sales are flagging and they're hoping to break into a market of particularly impressionable morons.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Teleporter online. We move swiftly.

Blend S
http://blend-s.jp/
Studio: A-1 Pictures
Genre: Comedy
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 7th

Show Premise: 
Every waitress at Cliche Cafe must act according to their assigned cliche.

Random Thoughts:
We said the cliche! And see!? We even named the cafe that! Self-awareness! That makes it a parody and not just tired repetition! But everyone's actual personalities are the opposite of their assigned trait! And get this. The cook's gimmick? He gets nosebleeds when he's turned on! Wow! Biggest twist of all? The 'idol' waitress is actually male! Bold new territory here, A-1. It comes from a 4-panel 'gag' source, so 50% of the jokes are that someone makes a stupid face, 25% of the jokes are that someone says "that is not correct" while making a stupid face, and 25% of the panels contain no joke whatsoever, just a reiteration of the situation while someone makes a stupid face. The adaptation will evidently be adding breast bounces and upskirt shots. Truly a comic masterpiece in the making.

Preseason Swing Rating: 
 
And the pterodactyl is a lounge singer.

The Ancient Magus's Bride
http://mahoyome.jp/
Studio: Studio Wit
Genre: Drama
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 7th

Show Premise: 
Chise is bought by a magician to be her apprentice and wife.

Random Thoughts:
And then they spend the entire thing explaining the lore of the world. This had an OVA prequel last year. I had a hard time getting through the start… which was the setup to the series-long flashback, so I flipped ahead only to find more exposition, and then again to yet goddamned more. All the while, the lead stares in wide-eyed stupor. And apparently this is how the main 'story' goes as well. I don't think there's any kind of plot at all, just lore dump after lore dump after lore dump. It's not even interesting lore. Both the main characters are the super specialest. The world is magic. The orphan slave girl has… get this… a tragic past. The titular magus is mysterious. I think that's his entire personality. Well, that and dry lectures. 

Preseason Swing Rating: 

Unhealthy relationship.

Blood Blockade Battlefront
http://kekkaisensen.com/
Studio: Bones
Genre: Overacting
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 7th

Show Premise: 
Sequel series. Leo uses his magic ALL-SEEING EYE to fight monsters as part of a team of screaming ninnies.

Random Thoughts:
I bailed on this at the typical three episodes in when it became obvious it wasn't really concerned with actually having action as much as it was acting like it had action through dramatic poses and screaming a lot. That would also be its approach to humor. And drama too, for that matter. Because there's no such thing as restraint. Take everything to 11 right from the start. Milk as much drama as you can from every moment. And tragic flashbacks out of nowhere and related to nothing happening at the moment? Even better! The budget also pulled a disappearing act after the first episode. It did switch out its key staff for the same ones as that prosaic candy-based not-comedy, so I'd think even fans of the original should be pretty wary.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

I'm still unsure where they got "blockade" from.

March Comes In Like a Lion
http://3lion-anime.com/
Studio: SHAFT
Genre: Drama
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 14th

Show Premise: 
Sequel series. The continuing adventures of an angsty teenager and the all-female family that dotes on him.

Random Thoughts:
I only made it through one episode of the original series. It was ten minutes of atmospheric existential angst followed by ten minutes of cheery saccharine quirkiness… except for the protagonist himself who keeps being a melodramatic sack of crap due to the pure ennui of having to live without being as whimsical as the girls. It was certainly effective at presenting the protagonist as a depressed, insecure butt without having him just straight out and say it (until he later does… repeatedly), but that's not exactly a win, and the lurch to excessive cutesiness was jarring and painful. There was also no promise of any kind of story to come, and indeed, apparently none ever manifested. But here's some more episodes. Because melodrama and magical pixie waif girls.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

A distracted, pink, zombie lion.

Sunday

Anime Chats
http://animegataris.com/
Studio: Wao World
Genre: Comedy
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 8th

Show Premise: 
Girl joins an anime club.

Random Thoughts:
This is actually a spinoff of filler nonsense shown between movies. Yes, it has the same parentage of "Let's all go to the lobby." Apparently so popular that now it's its own thing. Of course, each member likes one specific subgenre of anime, with no crossover between any of them. And they have a magic pet. Because a mascot pet is required by law. The promo is the lead girl forcing a door open held by the mascot, and some closeups of faces, so I guess I'm taking their word for this being a comedy. Could've fooled me. Can't wait for their no doubt thrilling hot takes on how great all anime is while explaining all subgenres for entire episodes.

Preseason Swing Rating: 

This sandwich is so stale that it's become sentient.

A Sister's All You Need
http://imoutosae.com/
Studio: SILVER LINK
Genre: Comedy
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 8th

Show Premise: 
Itsuki is a light novel author only interested in writing about little sisters.

Random Thoughts:
And every woman in a fifty mile radius wants to do him! And his little brother… is actually his little sister! Who also wants to do him! If you need further evidence as to what this super meta light novel adaptation is, one of the harem has to be naked to work and loves to smell his underwear. Another loves asses. At least they're not all in high school. No they're just out of high school, and all already super genius awesome authors with years of work under their… wait a minute here… Maybe I should give it credit for removing the club part that's normally part and parcel of this nonsense and aging the characters up about two years… without actually changing their personalities or maturity level at all. Maybe, but no. 

Preseason Swing Rating: 

But a suit of armor might help.

Children of the Whales
http://kujisuna-anime.com/
Studio: JC Staff
Genre: Adventure
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 8th

Show Premise: 
Chakuro's isolated village is on a sand whale in a world covered in desert. A girl from the outside world shipwrecks on the whale, drawing attacks from the outside world and forcing them to defend themselves. 

Random Thoughts:
Technically, the title's more like "Song of the Children of the Sand Whale," but sure, let's go with the official quasi-translation despite from what I saw everything taking place on a single whale. That isn't even really actually a whale as much as it is just a mobile sand Australia. While the promos aren't among the more technically impressive, they do promise fighting and bloodshed. The bloodshed does involve clowns though. Like… the Evil Empire is made up of literal clowns. With big red honky noses and everything. Because when you're making an army of soulless automatons, clowns seem like the logical template to work from. 

Preseason Swing Rating: 
  
Streets of the sharks.

Umaru
http://umaru-ani.me/
Studio: Doga Kobo
Genre: Comedy
Staff/Cast Information
Premieres October 8th

Show Premise: 
Sequel series. The continuing non-adventures of Umaru, a girl who's perfect on the outside, but a spoiled, lazy brat at home.

Random Thoughts:
If you saw a few screenshots of this, and since you're reading an anime blog there's about a 120% chance you have, you've probably already seen the best that this had to offer. Umaru looks kind of silly/cute, and someone announces that she's being a brat. Those are the jokes. All of the jokes. Sometimes, there's also yelling. I was tired of the schtick after they flat out explained the premise in the opening minute of the show, and it never went beyond that. Did the staff suddenly figure out what humor is? Have they discovered the ancient secret of punchlines? I'll never find out. 

Preseason Swing Rating: 

What's the matter, Bats? Cat got your tongue?

Closing Thoughts:

Well, that sure wasn't almost entirely misery, and that was with snubbing at least two idol show sequels. Hell if I know what I'm going to do with this season. Perhaps it's the one that finally does me in. Hopefully at least a couple of the original action ones turn out watchable. Lord knows when we've reached the tipping point of just shy of double digit idol shows, things are looking pretty goddamned grim. How long until they go from a plurality to a majority? Not long enough.

I should be able to get to 18if's grand finale (spoiler: everyone wakes up thanks to the power of love momentary infatuation) before I leave for the weekend, but the Saturday shows will have to wait until Monday.

Posted in Season Preview | 9 Comments »

9 Shouts From the Peanut Gallery

  • Dave Baranyi says:

    You big tease…

    You know that you will pick some gawdawful show to cover misery by misery, pain by pain, cliche by cliche…

    [Reply]

  • OverMaster says:

    “Perhaps it’s the one that finally does me in.”

    Hope springs eternal, I guess.

    [Reply]

  • Neclord X says:

    Wow, this looks like a particulary bland season, there is just a couple of shows showing promise and that’s being generous, luckily there is a few sequels there I’m interested, but I feel is going to be one looooong boring season.

    [Reply]

  • jgoi says:

    UQ Holder, Zodiac War, URAHARA, majimesugiru, Two Car, imoutosae, the other stuff with cute girls: for vaseline time.

    Screw black clover, I hear it’s like bleach+fairy tail.

    Only watching Kino’s Journey and whatever bits of osomatsu-san s2 that’s includes totoko.

    [Reply]

  • anise_punter says:

    “How threadbare does something have to be to cause even the people who happily consume “girls doing nothing” things to remark that something is light on characters and plot?” This is actually what I thought about Aria the Animation to a T, but other purveyors of “cute girls doing cute things” freaking love that show.

    yes: blend s, cute fox girls doing nothing, negima 2, umaru 2
    yes even though i probably won’t like it: battlefront 2, terrible idol show #4550
    maybe if your screencaps are good: sidecars, girls last tour

    i am fully expecting your “preview” of the idolmaster but boys! show to be replaced with real live pictures of goats or alpacas

    [Reply]

    Aroduc says:

    How would you tell the difference?

    [Reply]

    anise_punter says:

    because if it were from an anime you would see superfluous terrible looking CG goats on top of the regular goats

    [Reply]

  • v1cious says:

    “Has even one of these seen even marginal success”

    Quan Zhi Gao Shou (The King’s Avatar) was a massive hit.

    [Reply]

  • The Phantom says:

    I think I will keep playing PS3 games on the RPCS3 emulator this season as well lol-

    [Reply]

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