April 5th, 2017
Thanks, for the long exposition dump, random background girl!
Halfway through the goddamned episode and it's still on nothing but exposition. And if the tagline to the post title didn't clue you in, there's this horrific bit where this girl just out of nowhere launches into a minute long summary of the entire goddamned premise while everyone stands around and waits for her to finish. And that comes after about five straight minutes of exposition around the characters in that truly godawful Japanese fashion. "Why have you called us, the Five Great Swords of Greatness here for nothing but a trifle?" "You, Sword #3, the Blade of Bladeness, would know better than anybody that I would not have called the Five Great Swords of Greatness if it were truly for nothing." "So then, why have you called the Five Great Sw–" SHUT THE GODDAMNED EVERLIVING HELL UP OH MY GODDAMNED GOD THIS IS NOT CONTENT WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING LEARN TO GODDAMNED WRITE DIALOGUE!
*ahem* Well, at least it made me feel something after the opening seconds featured pans around CGI buildings. Incandescent rage is definitely a thing. If you're thinking that it might be able to pass as some kind of pervert action comedy ala 95% of the shows Arms produces, allow me to disabuse you of that nothing as well. For every 5 seconds of animated action, there's at least 30 seconds of exposition about it, and at least that many stills. And I'm including close-ups of feet as 'animated' action. They're not even expositing to anybody in particular; just the magic goat that lives in their heads and drives all their actions. Maybe it has to do with the amnesia everyone in Japanese media is always suffering from. If they don't explain it to thesmelves every 15 minutes, they'll completely forget it. Maybe even worse, they're just making crap up. "That strike was strong enough to break his bones, but he blocked it like it was nothing." No. No it was not. The really weird thing given the premise is that there's not really any movement towards fanservice either. He accidentally kisses on, looks at one's underwear, and there's almost an upskirt shot very very rarely, but that's it. So this can't pass on that either. Half-assed action, half-assed characters, complete ass production and writing… who the hell is this even supposed to be appealing to?