January 10th, 2017
A bird's kind of like a map, right? I'll draw a bird and we'll call it a map.
There was a brief moment when I thought that every character might have glorious moustaches. However, that moment came during a particularly godawful bit of exposition where someone sat down and explained to management world history and why their jobs exist. It's kind of like if someone working for Microsoft got called into the office to have the concept of computers explained to them. The rest of the episode was downhill from there. Animation, characters, story, drama, soul, humor, life, music… these are not things that you will find here. About the only time anybody in the show ever gets excited about anything is when they're talking about what snacks they brought into the office. One character spends almost her entire disproportionate screentime simply with a glass-eyed stare, like she's already dead inside. Or a suit propped up by 15 possums.
I think the real moment that shows that this wasn't actually created by humans, but by some kind of underground robots trying to emulate human drama came at the end when they ran into some other police force at a donut shop and their exchange was "I thought you fancy-pants preferred more expensive food." "Oh yeah? Well, we don't make very much money." It was such a sick burn that the former was enraged, yet totally put in his place, and all he could do was curse how perfect that comeback was. That's also about the level of dialogue in the show, so scratch that off your list too.