Schwarzesmarken #01 — Ankle Biters

January 10th, 2016


Oh no! I can only kill a couple dozen with one swing!


I'm tempted to compare this to Total Eclipse's opening episode(s) before they switched directors, it went all haremy, and the writing stopped making a lick of sense, but honestly, I only have faint impressions of memories left. They did certainly do a better job back then actually selling the horrors of alien war than this silly episode did with its ankle biters and the one 'ace' pilot in the 'ace' squad who lost her tits simply by showing up to battle, and it was totally that guy's fault for not supporting the girl who was supporting the girl who lost her tits. What about whoever was supposed to be supporting him? He raised a very goddamned good question about sending her into battle, and the only answer seemingly was "shut the hell up, that's why." Which was also the answer every time the writers thought up some manner of irrational behavior to be justified in order to create drama. Also not helping the monster factor this time around was how nearly every shot of the BETA was them crawling around or dying. They tore up one guy at the start, and then… died. A lot. Then killed the one other girl too before returning to dying. It was probably easy on the lacking budget though. If they were trying to go for insurmountable swarming hordes, they missed the mark on that too.

Things only got worse in the later going when Friendship is Magic joined the team for the reason of "eat a dick and shut up, that's why." For one, she sucked Surly Protagonist into the Flashback Dimension. Second, from how grumpy everyone was, they're seeming to be going all in on this East vs West Germany thing, except that they forgot to do anything but wave their hands around about how friendship wasn't magic until after the credits, and even that was pretty sad. "You're trying to undermine us!" "No, you're the ones trying to undermine us!" And then one shoots the other. Your guess as to which is the evil communists. Worked about as well as the pre-credits cliffhanger "I'm looking for… some guy." *gasp*

Posted in Schwarzesmarken | 5 Comments »

5 Shouts From the Peanut Gallery

  • algorithm says:

    Tortilla Chips was awful enough, we could have done with less of this mess.

    • ZakuAbumi says:

      I made it through that, Extra, Unlimited and one day, I’m sure I’ll finish Alternative.

      By comparison, this thing actually did something at its beginning. Mostly flash without flesh but I’d prefer that over nonsensical padding any day.

  • Paulo27 says:

    Is it incest if she looks just like his sister?
    I really can’t think of a good reason to introduce such a bad character.

  • The Phantom says:

    Why does this series exist in the first place, is yet another spin off of a game that has not been adapted into anime yet.

    At least there was a successful kickstarter campaign to translate the original games to English, I cant wait for those.

  • Longing says:

    “He raised a very goddamned good question about sending her into battle, and the only answer seemingly was “shut the hell up, that’s why.””

    Thank you! I thought I was going crazy when the leader girl admonished the red haired guy for stating that a person with severe, detrimental mental health issues shouldn’t be a part of an elite military unit. And then proceeded to blame him for twin-tail’s death when it was clearly not his fault.

    I don’t know if I can handle all this fake drama.