K – Return of Kings #05 — Talking Bird Heads

October 30th, 2015


Screw Fridays.

I said to myself that today would be the cutoff for K and Garo, and unless they both impressed me somehow, at least one would be tossed against the wall like week old trout. Garo had the unfortunate pleasure of going first and shooting itself in the foot with a bland as hell telling of the Tale of the Bamboo Cutter, only with the parents becoming jealous horrors because they never wanted to give her up, then being summarily dispatched like always, before she wandered back to the moon, where, if you'll recall correctly, the vampires live. The protagonists' role in the whole thing was to show up and listen to the story. Feel free to read the Wikipedia article on the story and imagine that took 21 minutes, followed by a CGI guy hitting a golden hedgehog if you want to get the full experience.


So I guess K wins the day for having about 20 seconds of beating up the Tron knockoffs at the start, although since we're pitting super powers vs "guy with a golf club" it wasn't much of a fight. It doesn't win the war though as the remaining 21.5 minutes of the episode were back to the usual talking heads. Not even talking people heads. There was about a six minute sequence where Shiro sat on a roof talking to the bird while Strapped-To-A-Chair-Guy simply talked to the air. It doesn't matter if they were discussing the end of the world as we know it or the best cats in the neighborhood to stick their dicks into, it was presented as with all the excitement and interest of watching two people talk on speaker phone, except sometimes you get to see a closeup of a parrot's face. And this is coming after Iteration 724 of "sit in the bar and stare at a marble" and "Shiro looks at pictures and reminisces." Better slow down your breakneck pace here, K. You might have to introduce a plot element before the season's over.

Next Episode:

Laser weapons again.

Posted in K | 1 Comment »

One Lonely Comment

  • JCA says:

    “a CGI guy hitting a golden hedgehog”

    Man, the Sonic games just keep getting worse.