Heavy Object #01 — Oh My God, Becky, Look At Her Butt

October 2nd, 2015


That's past junk in the trunk and more like a landfill.


And here we have a show that makes Lance n' Masques look positively mediocre. It kicked off with about five straight minutes of CGI nonsense tooling around with bad exposition over that… and that was to be the highlight of the episode. The rest of it was sitting around and… I think I'd normally call it trying too hard, but I don't think there was any trying at all that went into this. The shower scene with the butt hanging about a foot too low, the commander who might as well have been doing jazz hands and yelling "WAAAACKY!" and then the tightened harness system that squeezed her, causing her tits to grow five sizes (which the direction made sure to frame repeatedly), and her to blush, squirm, and moan. Because, you know, squeeze a girl with an A cup enough and they explode into D cups. That's how anatomy works after all.

The rest of the episode was spent sitting around and having chatsies. See how exciting our setting is? We sit around in the cold, talking. And talking. And talking. And then talking some more. By the way, did you know you're a princess? Here's some exposition in case you forgot. And here's some shots of snow. Does this not hook you!? Is this not what you wanted? Oh, and here's a moose. See? We can animate something. Whew. That was 3 seconds of hard work. Back to talking heads and shots of mountains. But wait, the cliffhanger for next week is that we might get to see some more terrible CGI crap bouncing off of invulnerable giant marbles. Ex-goddamned-citing!


Posted in Heavy Objects | 10 Comments »

10 Shouts From the Peanut Gallery

  • Dave Baranyi says:

    You are being waaaaaaaay too generous with this piece of crap…

  • Paulo27 says:

    It actually got pretty funny midway through because the MC started expositioning so fast, made me laugh more than most comedy shows do.

  • Opulent Rag says:

    (sigh) Was really hoping this didn’t dip into the forced fanservice till so early in the series. Hopefully the characters will at least try to have some depth and the story will be somewhat engaging, I’d prefer this didn’t turn into another Aldnoah Zero or Muv-luv or something.

  • Neclord X says:

    It has to be REALLY difficult to manage to get a premise with war, soldiers and giant balls with cannons and still be the most boring 20 minutes ever.

  • jingoi says:

    here for the boobs, the plot can go in that dark corner

  • The Phantom says:

    The five minutes intro of exposition crap was an overkill, I may check episode 2 just to see where it is going but most likely dropping this.

  • algorithm says:

    I want my technodrome back.

    • Aroduc says:

      I never understood the technodrome. There’s a bunch of just random stuff on it, like lasers pointing upwards, and a giant scowling eye on the top.


      It certainly wasn’t the marvel of engineering that was the Turtle Blimp.

  • Anonymous says:

    Exposition exposition everywhere…

    Typical of index autor.

  • Aquaconda says:

    Im not particularly excited for this considering this is the guy who did Index. Also, “the Object”. Really?