天下制覇

  

Yawn.

Impressions:

I thought from the start that they might be going for scenery porn to pick up the slack, and while it is the scenery pornest new show I’ve watched so far, it’s more like “listening to napping music” porn. And that’s pretty much what I did through this whole uninteresting twenty minutes. This is the problem when your first episode only just barely covers the single sentence blurb you put out and doesn’t feel like bringing anything else to the table or promising anything more to come later. But hey, what do you expect when the characters exist basically only to stare at each other and talk about how many emotions they supposedly have but are not showing in any way because they’re soused to the gills with mood eveners.

Honestly, for a little while that I was going to end up saying something like “Boring, but does nothing offensive,” but then I realized that this kind of lack of ambition should be kind of offensive. It’s yet another fantasy-but-not-really dramatic romance about two of the most boring, unambitious, and socially maladjusted Jesus and Jesusette in the world with the absolute bare minimum of drama, a deficit in romance, progression on any front like a glacier, and absolutely nothing to fill the rest of the time. How about some snappy dialogue? Or would that take away too much time and effort from staring at apples melancholically? Yeah, I’d prefer even a slight hint that this wasn’t going straight into the holding pattern, but it’s already clearly in no hurry to accomplish or develop anything at all so long as they can fall back on flute music and shots of a pastoral village.

Next Episode:

Shots of faces.