天下制覇

  

As an upper middle class white American male, I’d know from gangsta.

There are approximately a million and five shows premiering tomorrow (give or take a few), and having work, I’ll get to them afterwards when I can. Friday, however, I have off for the holidays, so it’ll be cowboying it up like the old times for the billion and seven shows on Friday and Saturday. Also, I did try the demo for Debonosu’s upcoming “Not Kagura But We Wanted To Use This Engine, Format, and Plot, To Make an SRPG That Isn’t Kagura” game. It was… the exact same as the Kagura SRPG they released a year or two ago… without Kagura characters.

Impressions:

Well, it began with panning over walls, a phone, and someone’s room, so there was nowhere to go but up from there. And we begin this new season with a madcap episode full of tough as nails private dicks in the toughest part of town… talking. And talking. And talking. And talking. And then talking. And talking some more. And when they’re done with that, talking. But what about the awesome gritty action!? Well, drink it in! Look at that awesome flip! That was the exciting scene of the episode. That was its big moment. If we call Black Lagoon a water slide at Six Flags, this would be Uncle Bob’s children’s rusty slide propped up against the kiddie pool.

But was it gangsta? Well, it pans over some drugs and half-naked women who I assume were there for the Vicodin Sponsored Swimsuit competition, and there’s this one time where they were less than completely respectful to the police. Only a real gangsta would dare kick a police car after all. My favorite part is how the thugs just didn’t really feel like shooting almost at all as he killed them. Responsible use of firearms is the epitome of gangsta. Almost the whole thing was talking heads chattering away. Not actually following two guys as they talked to suspects, tracked down clues, and followed a lead or anything like that, and not just because one of them is the male hulk Marlee Matlin. That part was a whole five minutes between getting the guy’s dossier from the cops, which again, totally a gangsta move, most of which was spent chilling out in an alley talking to the whore. Looking back, I don’t even think I could tell you what the first half of the episode was about. There were drugs, whores, and a slum. And a whore got a handkerchief dropped on her head. Those were the things that stood out. Tell don’t show. That’s the key to making a great setting.

But the most gangsta thing of all would be the ED, which was a soulful ballad with shots of the males lounging like Sears models. And then, all of a sudden, I knew exactly who this was for and what kind of pornography it was hoping to generate.