天下制覇

   

Even this hot water cannot dull my pain.

Impressions:

It’s a little ironic when the show’s obvious only selling point is visual titillation for the visuals to be so awful. I’m not even talking about the occasional screen entirely covered in steam or black fog erupting from female sexual organs, although it feels like it’s been a while since I’ve seen either of those. Its action is already starting at poor with godawful CGI. I can’t imagine how much worse it’s going to get. I don’t even know what to say about the little idol song and dance in the middle of it either, but I think that’s supposed to be Japan being ‘quirky.’ And by ‘quirky,’ I mean of course, throwing idol crap in out of nowhere because idols, man. They’re just the greatest! It was almost as bizarrely out of place as the middle high school segment where everyone started simply faffing about.

Any competence and lack of hesitation displayed by the protagonists regarding shooting people in the face and motorbiking around is hamstringed by the lack of a budget and direction that is so far over the top that it makes the whole thing ridiculous instead of serious, a sentiment we will be returning to shortly. You see, the protagonist is so tortured by the darkness of his past that a shadow falls over his face even in the shower. Whereupon he simply spits out his entire backstory as dryly as possible, the shadow of darkness never leaving his face, because that is how dark and serious he is. This is what a fourteen year old thinks is cool. And with all the random crotch shots and jelly tits wildly flailing at the slightest disturbance in the air, even someone else punching a wall behind them, they’re making a pretty definite statement about their desired audience.