Death Old Maid #10 — Beard Mind Rape

March 13th, 2015

  

Ranma 1/2 did it better. …The Old Maid, not the beard rape.

Impressions:

And for the record, that episode of Ranma was called “The Dumbest Bet In History,” because if there’s nothing more boring than playing Old Maid, it’s watching people play Old Maid. I was almost wishing for the magic button cheating device just so something would happen. It was actually more about how Decim having trouble making a judgement. And by about that, I mean people announced that, repeatedly. What is this, a bad opera? Take a drink every time someone says 裁定 and you’ll be off your ass before the first act’s over. Maybe we’re supposed to clap our hands like harp seals if we recognize that this is the wife of the guy from the original Death Billiards.

The ‘mystery’ behind Random Woman Named Woman also could not interest me less, but shares the same problem; they’ve simply announced that there’s a mystery and expect that to be enough. A mystery exists and we’re not telling you the whole story. Aren’t you interested? Since you ask, no, and especially not after another whole episode repeating that there is indeed still a mystery. Why should I be? Am I supposed to be attached to this character who only has a slight inkling of emotion because she’s paired up against a character who makes trees of wood seem animated? What did we learn? That it’s a story she read with her mom and her name. Wow. Twenty minutes well spent. Against all this, the sudden mind rape via plant beard for the reveal that something’s wacky about a judge with emotions (apparently the ones we’ve already seen don’t count for some reason) sticks out like… well… like someone suddenly mind raping somebody with their beard.

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